Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
I'm a girl living in USA and met a guy from Netherlands from an online game. I knew him from a guy friend that I knew from the same game and that friend lives 20 min from this guy and r good friends. We started talking on June 17 and found out we have so much in common and very eager to talk to each other that we started to mess up our sleeping time (he's 8 hours ahead of me). We decided to take this to Skype, he said he only have 30 min but we ended up talking for 2 hours. On July 11, he finally admitted he likes me. I was so happy and we started dating.
Everything went great until he departed for China for 6 weeks starting from July 19. The wifi is so bad there, and it kinda affected our communication badly and we missed each other terribly it stressed us out(he also have other stress, his mom bad health and family lawcase at that time). On Aug 11, he said his feelings not as strong as before lately and only see me as best friend now, that r/s without meeting sounds wrong (I agree, meeting is important). But he still wants to make it work, but no idea what to do. I suggested space, but he said he doesnt want it if it means less talk. Maybe he has so much going on atm and the fact we have not met in real life? We plan a trip and and so much issue going on : He cant make it on time due to being stuck in an airport due to typhoon in Hongkong days ago, and he cant tag with his mother to USA on aug 26 in time and hv to stay home. He was so disappointed as he said he really need this to boost the relationship and to finally give him the idea if this relationsthip and distance is worth fighting for (he has so much shit going on as well and stresses him out so much). So when he cant make it, he was so upset. But then I suggested to visit Netherlands in november, but he said it might be during exam week and he want to give all his time to me if i ever come to him. So he suggested december to visit me in USA and will ask his mother about it. I suggested that I will come to europe instead and we perhaps can travel around europe together and we settled on the date of Dec 26 to Jan 7. Im not sure but can we bring back the chemistry? We fell for each other since that 2h skype, so perhaps meeting irl would be pretty much the same?
How to maintain our "unclear" relationship until december (since he said he only see me as a good friend for now)? Lately he's kinda not into talking, but he called sometimes. Does he really love me or mistaken it for love? Maybe we rushed too much? He also stop calling me love.. he doesnt wanna hurt my feels but want to be honest. Idk what to do... it's 4 months away and Im not sure if i can stay strong until december... My friends told me he still love me but the stress blinded him, and he's prolly too occupied with his issues to concern about love issue for now. What should i do to improve the relationship until our meeting? And how can i find out if he still loves me, if there's any way to find out? Thanks! Any help would be soooo much appreciated xoxoxo
I personally think you both rushed into the relationship... the problem with now I don't know you nor him but just by your post
July 11 he admitted he liked you
July 19 he goes to china for 6 weeks
August 11 he says his feelings aren't as strong as before
August 26 he can't come USA for because of typhoon but his Mother can come ?
Then you suggested November but he said "might be exams week" typically students know in advance when exam week
Then he suggested December to come see you and now your going to see him
Now his friends says he still loves you but august 11 he said his feelings weren't as strong anymore
This sounds like he's either cat fishing you or he's married or he completely unsure about you
Personally the day he said his feelings weren't as strong as they were after a month or so of talking I would walk away block him
The guy has a ton going on, and you are in two different countries. That's not saying this couldn't work, if you gave it a chance, but it sounds to me as if both of your interests are waning.
Keep up with the skype/chat and see how you feel in December. You never know, there might be total fireworks when you meet! If not, you will have another vacation spot in the Netherlands. It's a win/win situation.
Best of luck to you.