hey guys, 

so this is my first time joining any type of support group.. its crazy to realize that so many different people are feelings the same things as me. I usually don’t talk about my depression to friends because well it’s not only embarrassing, but I’ve never been depressed and I’m afraid if people see me that way they’ll judge me. I sometimes talk to my partner about it, but even he gets overwhelmed. 

I moved to a different state for work, but I previously lived here a few years ago and I had a completely different life. I was a major party girl, after meeting my partner we both toned our lives down. I don’t want to be around that life anymore, but because of it I don’t have any friends. Well I would if I just went out and partied with them, but I don’t wanna do that. 

I rent a room in a house with an international family, so I’m alone in a room on days I’m not at work. And my boyfriend is very busy. He’s a manager for a big company so I really don’t get to talk to him until he’s home from work (which is very late for me since I’m two hours ahead) I force myself to go to the gym, and all that. I go to church regularly etc but I still just have these times when I feel so incredibly alone. Today for instance I’ve had multiple breakdowns just crying so hard about missing him. It sucks, I know we just need to be patient because he will be moving here as soon as his job gives him the go ahead. But sometimes this distance is just so heavy on my heart I don’t know what else to do besides cry and be sad. In the past I would drink by myself, but that just lead to making me crazy and when he would come home I would start insane arguments. So I’ve definitely promised myself no more depressed drinking. 

After writing this it seems like I just need a friend who understands what I’m going through...there really isn’t a problem. Other then the fact that I need to be more patient