Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
I haven't seen her in three months, okay? Not so bad compared to others. But, it's just been outrageously stressful.
The last time I did see her, she was sick and had lost her voice, so it... Well, it wasn't what I had hoped it would be, but that's not to say I wasn't incredibly grateful for the time. The last time we kissed, it was only a peck because my mom was there. It was a bit of a flimsy goodbye. Her mom said about a week before December that they'd have me spend a couple days with them over winter break. Her mom didn't follow through with that promise. A few days before New Year's Eve, I was supposed to go down and spend the entire day with her. Just the two of us. She was sick -- again -- and so we pushed it back from Thursday to Friday. Huge mistake. Our ride fell through for Friday, and on Saturday she had plans. My birthday was a week after that, and her mom wouldn't let her come spend the weekend with me like she was supposed to.
And now, she's in town. Right at this very moment. As I'm typing this. She's within fifteen minutes of me at a friend's house. The only reason I'm not over there right now is because her friend isn't feeling good and doesn't want anyone over. And, get this. She was supposed to be in town last night and be here the entire day, and I would've gotten to spend more time with her. Do you know why she wasn't? Her scummy dad flaked out on her. He was supposed to give her a ride. He texted her at about five and told her he'd be there any minute. You know what happened? He never showed up and stopped answering her calls. He's a disgusting jerk. How can you treat your daughter like that?
I was supposed to have this entire weekend with her. I was supposed to drive over to her friend's house this morning and be with her. I was supposed to spend the night with her, tonight. She was supposed to be in my arms at this very second. Yeah, I get to see her first thing tomorrow morning. I get to spend the day with her, and all of Monday, too. I hopefully can spend the night tomorrow.
Just... I can't even believe the bad luck I have with this. The bad luck we have. I think the universe hates us as a couple. I really do. There is some entity out there that wants us to never see each other again. Her mom does whatever she can to make sure we have as little contact with each other as possible. Her family doesn't like me very much. All of our plans either fail or turn out different than we expected. My parents believe that I'm unhealthily obsessed with her and have restricted my contact with her to four hours a day in hopes that I'd invest my time elsewhere.
It's so, so... I can put up and handle it all, okay? But at a moment like this? After having it all torn from my hands for the hundredth time? It feels like I can no longer bear it. I can't take seeing her once every few months for the next two years. I can't take knowing that, even if I do see her, chances are we won't have alone time and I won't be able to spend the night with her. I can't take having to hear the phrase, "I'm sorry it didn't work out." If I hear those words one more time, I'll lose it.
Sure, come Tuesday morning, I'm going to have to take in a deep breath and wipe myself clean of all emotion toward this, like I always do. If I go on this way, it'll destroy me. So I have to suck it up. If I don't, it'll be the end of me.
I might not get a chance like this again until summer. So, is it so wrong of me that I just wanted to hold her and fall asleep with her, tonight? The thought of spending another night alone is horrifying.
The last time I did see her, she was sick and had lost her voice, so it... Well, it wasn't what I had hoped it would be, but that's not to say I wasn't incredibly grateful for the time. The last time we kissed, it was only a peck because my mom was there. It was a bit of a flimsy goodbye. Her mom said about a week before December that they'd have me spend a couple days with them over winter break. Her mom didn't follow through with that promise. A few days before New Year's Eve, I was supposed to go down and spend the entire day with her. Just the two of us. She was sick -- again -- and so we pushed it back from Thursday to Friday. Huge mistake. Our ride fell through for Friday, and on Saturday she had plans. My birthday was a week after that, and her mom wouldn't let her come spend the weekend with me like she was supposed to.
And now, she's in town. Right at this very moment. As I'm typing this. She's within fifteen minutes of me at a friend's house. The only reason I'm not over there right now is because her friend isn't feeling good and doesn't want anyone over. And, get this. She was supposed to be in town last night and be here the entire day, and I would've gotten to spend more time with her. Do you know why she wasn't? Her scummy dad flaked out on her. He was supposed to give her a ride. He texted her at about five and told her he'd be there any minute. You know what happened? He never showed up and stopped answering her calls. He's a disgusting jerk. How can you treat your daughter like that?
I was supposed to have this entire weekend with her. I was supposed to drive over to her friend's house this morning and be with her. I was supposed to spend the night with her, tonight. She was supposed to be in my arms at this very second. Yeah, I get to see her first thing tomorrow morning. I get to spend the day with her, and all of Monday, too. I hopefully can spend the night tomorrow.
Just... I can't even believe the bad luck I have with this. The bad luck we have. I think the universe hates us as a couple. I really do. There is some entity out there that wants us to never see each other again. Her mom does whatever she can to make sure we have as little contact with each other as possible. Her family doesn't like me very much. All of our plans either fail or turn out different than we expected. My parents believe that I'm unhealthily obsessed with her and have restricted my contact with her to four hours a day in hopes that I'd invest my time elsewhere.
It's so, so... I can put up and handle it all, okay? But at a moment like this? After having it all torn from my hands for the hundredth time? It feels like I can no longer bear it. I can't take seeing her once every few months for the next two years. I can't take knowing that, even if I do see her, chances are we won't have alone time and I won't be able to spend the night with her. I can't take having to hear the phrase, "I'm sorry it didn't work out." If I hear those words one more time, I'll lose it.
Sure, come Tuesday morning, I'm going to have to take in a deep breath and wipe myself clean of all emotion toward this, like I always do. If I go on this way, it'll destroy me. So I have to suck it up. If I don't, it'll be the end of me.
I might not get a chance like this again until summer. So, is it so wrong of me that I just wanted to hold her and fall asleep with her, tonight? The thought of spending another night alone is horrifying.
Your parents are right in saying you need to invest some of your time elsewhere. You can't focus every bit of yourself, your time and energy only on your g/f, that's not healthy in any relationship whether it's a LDR or not.
It's not about bad luck or some entity out there that doesn't want the two of you to see each other. It's about you both being young, having to depend on others in order to see each other and not having your own means to be together.
LDRs aren't for everyone, not everyone can handle the distance, the stress involved and it takes a lot more than love to make a LDR and any relationship work.
No relationship should be your main priority at such a young age. You really do have so much more you should be focusing on and, in ten years or so, you'll look back and realize the reality of that fact.