Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
I have been in a LDR for a little short of two years (in June), and he lives about 1500 miles from me. He's in the US, and I'm in Canada. We met online three years ago.
He just spent the last 4 weeks with me, and he left to go back home this morning. We only get to see each other every 3 months or so. We spend evenings on Skype every night, and almost never miss a night together. He is my best friend, my love, my life.
I had been in a LDR once previously, with my ex-husband. It sucks that I found myself in another one. I was never looking for an online relationship, it just happened. I would give the world to have him live closer to me.
I hope that within the next year and a half or so, that we can finally be together. Immigration is challenging, and it's not that easy to just get him here. Marriage is the only option, but since I've been married once already, I don't want to get married just to have him here. When I decide to get married, I want it to be because it is right. I just wish that it were simpler, that he lived in the same country, that we didn't have the extra hurdles.
It was so hard coming home to an empty house here, knowing that he isn't sitting over there on the floor in his "nest", that he won't be sleeping next to me tonight, that in a couple hours, I will see him again on this very computer screen, as we resume our regular skype dates. I am so thankful that I have technology on my side, that I can see him every night on my computer.
I wish he were here...I miss him terribly.
He just spent the last 4 weeks with me, and he left to go back home this morning. We only get to see each other every 3 months or so. We spend evenings on Skype every night, and almost never miss a night together. He is my best friend, my love, my life.
I had been in a LDR once previously, with my ex-husband. It sucks that I found myself in another one. I was never looking for an online relationship, it just happened. I would give the world to have him live closer to me.
I hope that within the next year and a half or so, that we can finally be together. Immigration is challenging, and it's not that easy to just get him here. Marriage is the only option, but since I've been married once already, I don't want to get married just to have him here. When I decide to get married, I want it to be because it is right. I just wish that it were simpler, that he lived in the same country, that we didn't have the extra hurdles.
It was so hard coming home to an empty house here, knowing that he isn't sitting over there on the floor in his "nest", that he won't be sleeping next to me tonight, that in a couple hours, I will see him again on this very computer screen, as we resume our regular skype dates. I am so thankful that I have technology on my side, that I can see him every night on my computer.
I wish he were here...I miss him terribly.
The struggle for me is that I am only a year out of a divorce. He is about 5 years out of his divorce, so it's different for him. He is more ready than I am.
The past two days I've woken up feeling miserable...my house is silent, and without the common activities of the past month where I could kiss him before I went to work, and where he would greet me when I came home.
I just wish that it were more simple than it is. But it's incredibly complex. When I whittle it all down to just him and I, the happiness is amazing. Put all the extra layers of a LDR on it, and it becomes heavy and depressing. I would give the world for it to just be simple.
The reason he would like to come to Canada is 1) he doesn't have an established career, and lives in an area of the US where jobs are few, and the financial compensation of any jobs is rather low; 2) he doesn't have any property or anything connecting him to where he lives. He has family, but is ok to live away from them; 3) his opportunities for career development are much higher in Canada, as I live in an area of the country that is currently the economic hub of the country, and jobs are almost endless.
There is nothing to say that I couldn't live in the US, but right now the preference is to be in Canada for both of us. My job opportunities in the US, where he lives at least, are non-existent. We would both have to relocate further to find that opportunity, and the financial loss for me currently outweighs the benefit of me going down there. At least at the moment it does.
The difficulty is that it's not always that easy to just-get-a-job and move up here. There are detailed immigration laws that don't make it that easy to get a working visa, unless he is part of specific work sectors (which he isn't). The only solution is marriage, which gives him a residency card, and allows him to work anywhere.
It's complicated and convoluted, and there's much more detail than I can put in this post! :)
At the end of the day, we will work it out, it just may take some time.
We've gotten our visits down to long weekends about every 6 months...sometimes less. Those frequent flyer miles are adding up very quickly.
We are so thankful for modern technology....don't know what we'd do without texts, e-mails and video chat!! We've learned to basically live together through video. Thanks to online tv and DVR's we watch tv together!! It may be unconditional but it works for us!
One thing we both agree on is we'll never go through another divorce! Our relationship is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. Because of the distance we have learned to actually talk to each other and have a deeper relationship because we have had to learn to communicate more openly.
Our relationship is definitely worth whatever we have to do to make it worth!!!