Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.

1,597 Members
1,336 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

Hard weekend

Shutterbug
Shutterbug

Hey everyone! My bf and i have been dating for almost 2 years and he recently moved to florida in december for a promotion within the hotel industry. I am 31 and living with my parents still. I love my job but i dont make much. So i try to go out very little and save what i can. My bf has it made. He works right on the coast. Living free and makes good money. I flew out for 2 wks over my winter break and he worked a lot of it. He didnt understand why i was crying on my bday, xmas eve, and xmas when i was spending it alone bc he was at work. Recently his female frnd was visiting and i almost lost it. Now he drove 4 hrs and is out drinking at the kentucky florida game. Getting a hotel. I just want a phone call. Or a text. Hes so busy. He works different hours than me. I love him but with his new life im worried he doesnt miss me. He doesnt go out much, he does stay in a lot and play video games. Which makes me happy. But i feel so alone here. My frnds dont go out. All are married. All have kids. Its cold and dark in chicago. I just spent my whole wknd crying. I need a friend. Someone to help me get through this. I teach so i plan to move down in june. But omgggg i have never struggled so much. 

Sian
Sian
Have you talked to him about it. Explained that you are feeling this way because... and that it makes you sad that he doesn't text or call. If he makes even a small improvement I don't think you can expect much more from him. I assume you have stayed together because you love each other. He is probably loving his new job and new lifestyle and misses you but you can't resent him for enjoying this opportunity. He may well not be texting you enough but you can talk to him about that and there is only so much he can do. It is a fine balance of making him aware that you aren't happy and not making him feel guilty.
When my boyfriend left for a LDR, I switched careers to something I enjoyed and signed up for a marathon. Try your best to focus on you, and ask him to text a bit more, for the sake of your relationship.
Then move over and be with him, but you need to be in a state where you are moving because you are ready for a new life too, not just to follow.
I've been away from my bf for two and a half years now, I'll be moving to Canada from the UK, it's the most life changing descision I'll ever have to make, I've never been more sure that the descision was for me, not just for him or us.
I really hope that has helped, sorry if I have missed the point.
Shutterbug
Shutterbug
Thanks. No im read for the change. Its not just to be with him. Florida has a lot of opportunities for me too. I need to leave my job too bc i dont make anytging where im at. We both want it and we both want that life together. We both deeply love eachother. We barely fight and stay mad. We just fill that void with the absence and that bugs me. We did talk and hes doing more. Im usually ok with the distance it was just a bad wknd. Started with a coworker that got mad at me and then just not having him available when i needed him.
Sian
Sian
Oh gosh that's the worst bit I think. He's the perfect person to hear about your crappy day but he just not there. I know the feeling. It sounds like you are feeling better. Keep busy!!! And lean on your friends, mine have take more emotional weight off me than I could of imagined and I love them for it.