Don't do that yourself. Don't blame yourself and certainly don't think that it is abnormal what you're going through. What you're describing sounds just like any other normal relationship going through strain, not just a LDR. Whether he lost interest or is going through something he can't share, or if he isn't ready to commit, those are all reasons you will run into even in normal dating life.

Everyone is different, and all relationships are different and no one knows how to fix them except those involved. You have to be honest with him and tell him exactly what you are afraid of, and how you feel the relationship is going, otherwise you will stay hurt longer, or get hurt worse if things stay grey the way they are. If he does not want to be with you anymore, he should be honest instead of stringing you along. And if he is just going through some emotions and needs some more time, he also needs to tell you.

Most of my relationships have been LDRs. My current bf I met first on holiday, but the previous ones have been online, and they did not work out and I realize it had nothing to do with the distance. I started out my other relationships as being friends, and no matter how far it went, the chemistry was just not really there. I didn't feel like a girl, and didn't feel I was dating, it was more like hanging out and having sex whenever we met. My current relationship was more like love at first sight, and it feels more like a relationship than any of the others, despite also a LDR. He makes me feel like a girl (I'm quite tomboyish), he makes me feel special and he is more than ready to commit. It is never perfect and our problems are much greater than the challenges of a LDR, but we work on it together.

So don't feel that you are uninteresting. If the guy loves you, he will find you entertaining regardless if you talk a lot or not. Actually he will love that you are shy and talk enough for the both of you. Don't get discouraged by the distance. Talk it out, and whether it works out or not, know that better things do come along.

My boyfriend and I met online and have been together for 20 months.

We talked for YEARS (we met when I was 13, and I'm the same age as you) as just friends before we decided to meet up. I had a crush on him the entire time, and he was completely oblivious to it, lol. Around October of 2009 we started talking about potentially meeting and then in December I was in a plane on my way out to him.

Don't feel discouraged that he said that to you about not clicking once you meet. My boyfriend and I had that discussion many times before I went there, and it's true..you just never know. Yes, worst case scenario, it doesn't work. But there's just as much of a chance that you'll click and you'll be completely happy. As far as stringing you along, I don't get that impression...my boyfriend said that to me as well as me saying that to him, and it was just both of us speaking our concerns. He's obviously nervous about meeting you and wants you to like him in person as well as online, too..the only difference is you're feeling it and not saying it, while he's saying it and scaring you.

Don't worry about being shy, either...there's obviously something about you he likes :) People don't do LDRs for fun..they're a pain, they're hard, they absolutely suck, they can tear you apart..you get the idea. That's why we're in a support group for them, lol. A lot of times the things that I was always self-conscious or nervous about my boyfriend will make comments going "you're so cute..you always--" or "I love when you do that" etc. They pick up on more than you think.

I know that it's tough. I was a complete bundle of nerves before I met my boyfriend for the first time. But just think- after this, it'll be over. Either you'll know you don't work in real life and you can possibly continue a very good friendship, or you'll click and have a very strong relationship :) Soon you won't have to sit there worrying and wondering.

I know which one you would prefer to happen, and I hope it happens for you; however, there's just no possible way of knowing that until it actually happens. Just enjoy the time you have with him now, get to know his personality, and try to look forward to your trip. :)

Sorry, my point of the fourth paragraph was that he wouldn't be putting himself through this if he didn't think you were worth it. :)

I agree with Kari...he was just being honest and voicing his very real concerns. It's a risk we all took meeting our LDR partners. It may work...it may not...but that goes for any relationship regardless of the distance. There's no guarantees in life and you shouldn't let what ifs stop you from potentionally missing out on being with the person you were meant to be with. You already got your ticket and plans are set; the end of the year will be here before you know it. Just enjoy it...this is one of the most exciting times in an LDR when everything is new and full of all the hope in the world.

Thanks guys that really helped! I am feeling more better today. I have been sick for a few weeks now, so my mum thinks that has affected my personality and that is why I've been so negative. Have been feeling rather depressed actually because of it. Ben and I have also been talking pretty much every night, so I think that doesn't help conversationally because we run out of stuff to say. He did tell me that he didn't care if I was "boring" because its not possible to always have those conversations where your laughing together and having fun like your kids. He said he was just happy to see me (we video chat), that in itself makes him feel happy. My mum says I need to concentrate more on the positives than the negatives, she says I will only continue to feel worse if I believe it is not going to work out. And Ben has told me over and over that he wants it ti work out, he thinks I'm really something special (which I still find it hard to imagine) he's always telling me how amazing he thinks I am.
I guess I just need my space from him at times, because it is hard when you don't actually get the physical person. I just know I don't want to breakup with him again like I did at the start of the year, that was just a terrible time.

When ever me & my boyfriend run out of things to say(often because we talk for hours when he's at work) I start ask him questions about any and everything. Sometimes, just a few good questions will strike up a whole new conversation that we can talk about for hours. If you don't know what to ask you can look up questions online.

Don't sell yourself short on your personality! I'm sure there are so many people in your life that think you have a wonderful personality! Honesty is key in your relationship. When you see each other and you hit it off, you should talk about what you want out of the relationship. Just look forward to the fact that you do finally get to see him and how wonderful that is going to be!!

Oh sweety, don't think your personality has anything to do with it. As nervous as I get about my own LDR, I have had a non-romantic LDR that worked out that kind of reminds me of you. My best friend is the painfully shy type, you can't get two words out of her normally, not even online. She was the one who never talked in vent or on Skype and would always just IM me the answers to questions unless I made her say it

But do I think she needs to change who she is? Hell no. She's quiet. She's shy. That's who she is. And if your boy loves you, then he loves YOU for being shy too. Don't ever think you need to change who you are to be more interesting for someone.

Well, I'm not sure if what I say will bring any comfort. I hope it doesn't come out the wrong way. I think this is something that any couple can go through, LDR or not. Sometimes you have differences. This leads some couples to break up, get divorced, etc. But some have difference, and it's no big deal. We all have differences and it's a matter of if you want to commit to trying to working around them. I agree it may be hard to really know how the dynamics between you two will be until you meet. I guess it just depends on if you two want to take the risk. It seems like a good sign actually, that he's being open with you about his concerns and worries about the relationship. Hopefully it's something you two can work through and it becomes productive. I wish you two the best and that you can come out the other end stronger and more committed!