Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.

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/ Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

Advice for Someone New to a LDR?

gradstudent101
gradstudent101

Recently my boyfriend took an amazing job 12-14 hours away via driving. He is in a field where moving a lot is required and I'm kind of stuck where I am due to the fact I am purusing a graduate degree.


We have been mid-distance our entire relationship with only an hour drive and saw each other pretty frequently. However he just moved a week ago and I am having the hardest time adjusting. I am so unhappy, depressed and heartbroken over this move. It is really hard for me to be a good supportive girlfriend because at the same time I feel so angry at him for taking this job so far away. Every time he talks about how much he loves his new town, home, job etc. I become so incredily sad and then angry, I usually hang up the phone because I can't stand it. It's not that I want him to miserable at there but it's so hard to hear him just talk about how happy he is when I'm devestated over this move.


I have no idea how to cope with this, I know I have to accept him being gone but right now I feel so lost. He's being incrediably patient with me and all of our fighting that has come out of a result of this. He seems to be coping just fine with the distance.


I really would love some advice on how to cope with a LDR or if anyone has had similiar feelings.

gz261
gz261
Hi gradstudent101, I have definitely felt this way. I am 2 weeks into not seeing my boyfriend for 2 months, and I am already feeling sad and abandoned by small things he does. Whenever he can't talk because he's busy, I feel hurt and angry. When we talk and he talks about all the nice things in his life, I find it hard to be happy for him bc I'm afraid he won't need me as much and drift away. I woudln't judge your feelings, because you can't choose them (but you can choose what you do about them.) I find anger especially is so hard to deal with, because it makes you push the other person away when what you really want is closeness.

You could try talking to him about how you feel when you are feeling a bit calmer, so he knows what's up. You can also fill your life with things that make you happy, so that you are less focused on his absence and how happy you think he is. Things like learning a language, dancing, going out to explore your town, meeting up with friends, joining a club, etc... can make you feel more complete, and then you'll have your own fun things to tell him about.

Sorry I don't have more advice. Good luck :)
Melis82
Melis82
I feel the same way. I am 2 weeks into a long distance marriage. I feel so alone and just need someone to talk to
janelobin96
janelobin96
my LDR started 15 days ago.. both of us are doing good so far . I was studying at medical school when i met him , he is a student nurse.. we are in a relationship for a year and i have to moveaway to finish my studies from my home country.. we used to very physically affectionate and thats what i miss the most.. ahug on a bad day or when i have had a challenging day at the hospital... we do couple stuff together ... movies , games ... but on lonely more quiet days i really cant deal with my emotions.. i know i will end up with him but time apart ( in years ) is what i dread....

i dont havemany people i can share this with hence the group...
if any of you have any ideas of dealing with this betterplease reply.
love ,jane