Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
How does everyone cope? I reconnected with someone almost 800 miles away after explaining what I've gone through over two years.
I spent three amazing days with her and it was all strictly platonic. Time flew so fast. But hugging her was so nice, as was kissing her cheek. It was so hard to leave as I knew it would be. Talking the entire time we were together, spending one of those days even into late evening. A coffee shop, a winery with wine tasting followed by lunch there in an arbor setting by ourselves, hummingbirds flying by, followed by a steak & lobster dinner that night. Down to the riverfront in the evening with a bottle of moscato in outdoor patio seating. I didn't want to leave her. She knows how I feel. We are both older now, but I feel like for the first time in my life I found the one. So much in common it's a little frightening. Even our ancestry. She related to President Lincoln, me related to Lincoln's bodyguard the night he was killed. I've never written poetry for anyone, sent cards with gifts in them, flower petals in cards. While I was there she let me order for her. I never did that. I was surprised how just doing that made me feel. Even at this early stage I don't want a life without her. It's so hard being so far apart.
I spent three amazing days with her and it was all strictly platonic. Time flew so fast. But hugging her was so nice, as was kissing her cheek. It was so hard to leave as I knew it would be. Talking the entire time we were together, spending one of those days even into late evening. A coffee shop, a winery with wine tasting followed by lunch there in an arbor setting by ourselves, hummingbirds flying by, followed by a steak & lobster dinner that night. Down to the riverfront in the evening with a bottle of moscato in outdoor patio seating. I didn't want to leave her. She knows how I feel. We are both older now, but I feel like for the first time in my life I found the one. So much in common it's a little frightening. Even our ancestry. She related to President Lincoln, me related to Lincoln's bodyguard the night he was killed. I've never written poetry for anyone, sent cards with gifts in them, flower petals in cards. While I was there she let me order for her. I never did that. I was surprised how just doing that made me feel. Even at this early stage I don't want a life without her. It's so hard being so far apart.
I just got back from being with him this past Tuesday, we're 500+ miles apart (I'm in PA, he's in NC). We've been in a LDR for 6 years and luckily we get to see each other every 2 to 3 months and most often we're together for a month every time, I'll be going back in October for a month. It's not easy being in a LDR but it can work out very well if both partners want it to work.
Does she feel the same way as you? If so, have the two of you talked about how to keep the relationship strong with it being a LDR and will it be possible to be together permanently in the future?
We text each other often and are very open with each other. She's been in bad, abusive relationships. I can't stand when men beat defenseless women. She deserves better. She's so intelligent. That alone I find irresistible. And talented in so many ways. She's laid tile, put in granite counter-tops. And yet, she is so demure. She researches genealogy, local history, cake decorating, designs jewelry. How did I not know about her while we were classmates? I will never know. She comes from a large family as do I. And we only lived a few miles apart. My brothers had her brothers in their HS classes. Those three days are burned into my memory. I never expected an entire day and late evening with her. It was more than I hoped for. Lots to plan for. Thank you both again.
After a couple months of talking we began dating. We live about an hour and half away from each other (which really seems like nothing compared to other people here) but it was still difficult in that you still cannot see each other everyday.
We saw each other about twice a month for a day trip on occasion, I spent the night at his house. It was hard not being able to just be next to each other. But he would spend his time making things for me. Almost all of my gifts were made not bought. One was a flower made out of old music sheets, a picture of two foxes together wood-burned on a piece of tree wood, a necklace with a heart-shaped guitar pic, etc. I treasure everything he gives me.
During the past summer we were able to see each other everyday at camp (although we worked in different areas so I mostly only saw him at meals and at night). It was wonderful.
We both dreaded leaving each other and having to readjust to being long distance. And we can't talk a ton because now we both have school and classes and our families and friends to attend to.
But one thing is for sure. That getting to see him each time after not seeing him for awhile, is like I'm getting to see him for the first time. I treasure every moment I am able to stand or sit next to him. I treasure every kiss, every moment spent holding hands, every conversation we have. Every single ting just feels magical and i truly love all of it.
And when we go to separate or afterwards, we talk about the day where we won't be long distance anymore and what it'll be like to sleep in the same bed holding each other and having our own place together, and having a puppy and kitty :) We call that day someday. Thinking about the gifts he's made me, the time we've spent together and someday, is how I cope.