well could possibly get someone for counseling on this it might help you to get into therapy for these issues....just my $0.02

hugs bill
sorry your feeling so badly
add this hug to your day!

Why do you feel your family shuns you? Counseling, as bill said, might very well get down to the bottom of what is going on. One one should feel like an outcast in their own home.
Good luck!

thanks umm i dont think i need it, but they do, i always try and do right all outsiders think i do try to do the right thing but my whole family just says i am wrong, i dont have the issue they do but i suffer for it thats all

I think it is very wrong for you to totally retreat to your "man cave"There can not be anything sooooo bad that you are doing that can justify your family and/or friends shunning you.Perhaps talking with a professional therapist would be easier for you than trying to get some of these people who are shunning you to help you out of this pit?I find when I go to my therapist it is such a blessed relief to have someone who I can tell everythint to,without judgement,mean criticism etc.I go to my local community guidance center,the therapy is very inexspensive(20$)it is very much worth it.Please try to check it out in your area so you can lift yourself out of this funk before you become totally stuck there!The very fact that you are reaching out over the interney just shows that you might need the help of other people you know?Give it a try.

I'm very much an outsider as well. It's hard and I feel for you. Where I live, I don't fit in. I have almost no family though, just a third cousin 50 miles away so I'm quite alone, which has good points and bad.

I think it is easier to fit in if you live in a big city. There are all kinds of people there and there is more general acceptance of differences in people. I have always felt more comfortable in a big city. I hope to move to one some day.

I've also had a lot of bad things happen to me and I find it hard to relate to most people because of it. My consolation has been a strong spiritual life.

I wish you well. Remember, you're not alone, because there are a lot of us out there.

I am so sorry that you have such terrible pain in your life!
You remind me of my ex. I wish I would have gone to his Man Cave to talk to him and work everything out. Instead, we didn't talk to each other for a long time. Then he wanted to divorce me. It tears up my kids' hearts, and my heart too.We each have joint custody of our dear kids.
So, GOD BLESS you, gettingit!!!

I understand how u feel. I dont think there r any answers for what u are going thru. U just have to hang in there and grit your teeth thru it for however long it lasts is all I know to do.

While you may be a loner naturally, it is possible that you come from a family that is really dysfunctional. From 2001 to 2007 I was in therapy and my family still felt everything was "my fault." I went to more than one psychologist. No depression, no anxiety, etc. It was just my reaction to a non-supportive cruel family. When it became quite painfully clear that they were quite bad I had to cut the whole family off. Specifically the better I got they more violent they got. I was resisting the "scapegoat" role they had assigned me. Most probably your family is not anywhere that dysfunctional but therapy can help you cope on whether it is just you or how to cope with them better. I hope that helps. Feeling all alone is very dispairing.

I think counseling might help you. You can't control what other people say or do, but you can control your reactions to them. Maybe counseling can help you better deal with how you react to the people that suck. Idk, if I had insurance I'd like to go back to counseling. It just feels good to have someone to talk to that has an unbiased opinion about what we go through. I hope things get better for you. :-)

i'm sorry....you will probably reject this post but please don't leave here just because we are all suggesting the same thing.......okay???

i grew up the scapegoat in my family. i have a wonderful loving family but i never fit in. i just didn't. i was highly sensitive, emotionaly a little troubled, addicted, rebellious....i accepted my role. they assigned it to me and i accepted it. i became the "identified patient" in my family. the one with all the problems. they could all stand back and say i'm not the one with the problem, look at her......she's stealing, lying, cheating, drugging, etc. but the truth was i was the one assigned to carry the families pain.

it wasn't until we went to family therapy to uncover our patterns.

it sounds like a family problem to me. how many kids have you got?? maybe your kids and wife are triangulated. whenever there is a triangle one person is always out. that was me and that might be you. but the problem as i see it is a family dynamic issue. it is your problem because you are part of the dynamic.

going to your man cave may save you from having to deal with the issues on any real level but it won't improve the situation probably. probably it further reinforces for the rest of the family that you really are outside of the family and really don't fit in....and truthfully aren't really trying to fit in.

just my thoughts. i know it's painful to feel an outcast. especially if you've always felt that way. it's more painful probably to lose your family though wouldn't you think??? take the bull by the horns and open your heart. be willing to see that you may play a part in this family dynamic. if you want to change it you're gonna have to participate i'm afraid....

keep us posted!!! you are not a bad person. you do not deserve to feel shunned. don't allow them to shun you.......participate, initiate, problem solve with your wife........you can improve this if you take some action instead of retreating to your man cave.............

i'm sorry it hurts so bad.....it sucks bad to feel that way......

Hang in there. I am always amazed how people that live with, or are surrounded by people, are still so lonely. I live alone in the woods and hardly ever see people. I haven't been in a relationship for over 12 years now. Just me and my two dogs. Now that should be lonely amplified 200 times. :) I do feel lonely, but I also remember how much more miserable I was in bad relationships.

I agree with the others that going to a counselor could give you a better perspective on your situation; is it you or is it the people you live with. If it's you then you can get help working that out, but if it is others it will give you the ability to make choices based on a healthy perspective and not emotions.

Blessings!

You were a big nerd? You certainly do not look like a nerd!

thanks guys i do talk to someone about how i feel, but and i dont know why even my own mother leaves me out of stuff, its just odd, i was in a low moment, not in such a bad place now, but thanks, i am not going anywhere, no one else wants me so you guys are stuck with me

good! then we all get through the good days and the bad days and the hard days and the very empty days together!

I was a big nerd in high school as well, still am, unfortunately for the bullies big wasn't just describing my nerdiness. Anyway, high five dude, keep trucking shit happens but sometimes there's a diamond ring in said pile.