Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I used to be a moderatly social person,not a social butterfly but I felt ok in a group of people.
Until recently I was living with my wife whose meth addiction was spiraling out of control.
She was living a pretty Isolated existance and taking care of her so was I.
In order to keep doing the drugs unquestioned/uncontested,she pretty much started to dismantle me emotionally.
The gaslighting was horrible,I never saw what i saw,heard what i heard,I was a paranoid SOB and variations of that.
She made it quite clear that her opinion was that I was not worth her time,in any way shape or form except when I was doing something for her.
this ranged from physical intimacy,to just day to day conversation.
When I would get particularly close to confronting the drug issue she would normally say something exceptionally cruel to put me in some pretty dark emotional places.
always when all else failed she would hold divorce over my head if I didnt drop the topic(according to her she was mostly just staying with me cause she felt sorry for me)
The last time she threatened divorce, i just said ok.
now it is a few months out and I am residing elsewhere.
But i dont feel like i belong anywhere. I still have a hard time believing that I have anything to offer anyone or that anyone would even want to be with me. I am still just as isolated as if I were still living there with her.
She still has not made any move to divorce me(I GUESS THAT COSTS MONEY AND SHE CAN PROBABLY BUY GOOD METH WITH THAT)
I just cant seem to regain even a shred of who I used to be before all this.
Until recently I was living with my wife whose meth addiction was spiraling out of control.
She was living a pretty Isolated existance and taking care of her so was I.
In order to keep doing the drugs unquestioned/uncontested,she pretty much started to dismantle me emotionally.
The gaslighting was horrible,I never saw what i saw,heard what i heard,I was a paranoid SOB and variations of that.
She made it quite clear that her opinion was that I was not worth her time,in any way shape or form except when I was doing something for her.
this ranged from physical intimacy,to just day to day conversation.
When I would get particularly close to confronting the drug issue she would normally say something exceptionally cruel to put me in some pretty dark emotional places.
always when all else failed she would hold divorce over my head if I didnt drop the topic(according to her she was mostly just staying with me cause she felt sorry for me)
The last time she threatened divorce, i just said ok.
now it is a few months out and I am residing elsewhere.
But i dont feel like i belong anywhere. I still have a hard time believing that I have anything to offer anyone or that anyone would even want to be with me. I am still just as isolated as if I were still living there with her.
She still has not made any move to divorce me(I GUESS THAT COSTS MONEY AND SHE CAN PROBABLY BUY GOOD METH WITH THAT)
I just cant seem to regain even a shred of who I used to be before all this.
take care.
Do not go back with her. She has deep seated issues she must resolve with heavy duty therapy and rehab.
Move on for your own health and sanity.
Good luck to you!
Tell us who you use to be and we'll go from there. I don't care about her. *fumes rolling off the top of my head*
I trusted my own perceptions and was resonably intuitive without my current self doubt.
I could enjoy myself in a group of people and not feel out of place or ..hard to have a word to describe it but I guess inadequate comes close.
I feel i used to have alot of personal strength and now I just feel like I have been hallowed out and just kind of going through the motions.
I could have fun doing many things and now I just feel isolated no matter what I am trying to do or who I am with.
Give yourself time to grieve and to heal and do small things every day that bring you comfort and reminds you that there is more to life than pain.
I am glad you are here.
Hugggggsssss to you.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
join facebook (if you haven't already) and find and reconnect with your old friends. if you lost some (or many) because of your relationship with your wife, at least some will be relieved she is out of your life, and happy to welcome you back.
get involved in other people's lives again, volunteer, hang out at cafes, take a class. get your mind busy, and get yourself around other people again, experiencing some "people contact" on a daily basis so you start feeling more comfortable with them again. it's only been 3 months... these things take time.
join a support group of some kind. i suggest you get some cognitive therapy or at least read Dr. Burns' "The New Mood Therapy" which is about cognitive therapy, and specifically, about learning to A) stop doubting yourself, and B) counter the negative tape you've now got running through your head.
love the gaslight comment, btw... that's exactly what drug addicts and sociopaths (like my sister) do to those who love them :D