So I used to be the vice president og the Clarion County Fair. We elected a person to take over for me this year since I moved, but I still took a weeks unpaid vacation from my new job to go up and train the new vice president. Cool.... until .....

So the week started rough. I also used to be the barn chairmen for the rabbit barn. When I was vice president it got tough to do 2 jobs at once, so I had already picked my replacement for that and trained him in 2016. I stayed on as his secretary this year just to be there if he needed it as well. ..... well, the average amount of animals in the rabbit barn is 100... this year we had 150. Ever few years, it is not unheard of for an animal to die at the fair... especially when you have 100 in one building. This year, on Sunday at check in, I noticed that there were a few animals that looked bloated, so I talked to the owner and started them on wormer and then talked to the vet, who agreed and gave a few more suggestion.... well, we also tried antibiotcs, vitamins, and enamas.... ever given an enama to a rabbit? Not my first. Anyway by weeks end we lost 10 animals. More than I have ever... EVER ... lost. prior to that I had lost 1 in a yaer. usually due to heat stroke, old age, or stress. This was different, It was ownder error. He had fed active dry yeast to his animals - which is something you ad to rabbit food to help them process food quicker and bulk up. Unfortunately these were all young animals who could not process the yeast and became backed up internally and therefore bloated and died. I thought that was the worst of it. The worst of the week was yet to come. 

The president is also new. That was suposed to be my job, but that is another story... it made sense with the move, so whatever. The new president came to me and asked some questions of me. Financial questions. I was the vice president. I didn't oversee that stuff, I assumed the old president did. I told him to either ask the prior president or talk to the secretary/treasurer about it. He told me he didn't feel comfortable with that. So I flippently told him to go ask the bank because at the time I was busy. Well, he did.... and that's where our story begins. 

Friday morning the state fair secretary came to the fair to inspect. I usually gave those tours, so I was surprised when they walked into the rabbit barn. The State Fair secretary, The Secretary/treasurer of our fair, and the current President. Why wasn't the current Vice President doing it? Not a question for the time. I smoozed, and we got a perfect score, But while I was smoozing Josh, the president, passed me a note and gave me the don't open it now look. It read, we will meet Friday at 6:30 - I will pick you up. I wondered when he had wrote it, because it was friday. I wondered if he knew I would be helping with the buyers dinner like I did every year at that time. I wondered what the hell was going on. DId he find out about the rabbits dying? Did he get into a fight with our secretary/treasurer... she is a bit of a live wire at times. Did he need a therapist? I didn't tell anyone. 

At 6:30pm on friday I was passing out food at the buyers dinner and smoozing the best I could to make people loosen their wallets to buy 4-H projects and help them pay for their projects. Josh showed up in a side by side, and looked at me. I found soneone to replace me, said nothing about why I was leaving and got in the cart with him. As soon as we were away from everyone, he stopped the side by side and started crying. What the hell was going on?

He started telling me he went to the bank, and he had more questions. Then he went to a lawyer and finacial advisor. This is where I get into the matterial that I can't talk about, because the police said I can't. What I can say is that we casually went around gathering up all board members that were on side to have an emergency board member and voted unaniously to remove our secretary/treasurer immediately. 

Oh, we had also picked up the state police fficers contracted to work on the grounds. They were with us through all of it. So, the former pres and I, and the current pres and vice all walked up through the grounds to the office with the 4 state police officers with an immediate letter of resignation signed by all board members for the secretary treasurer. The letter was handed to her. She opened it, read it, set it down, and continued eating. The officer said she should gather her stuff and leave, and she went crazy, screaming about how she was a diabetic and was going to finish eating before leaving. After she went crazy, it became my job to go around the office with her and look ateverytihig she packed and help her leave. The 1 time I left her side, she puched a person in the back and almost got shot by the police. 

with 1 full day left, we decided not to tell anyone anything, just that she didn't come into work today. and me and another board member started opening cuppbourds just to find what we needed to run the fair. That is when the hole really fell throug for me. This woman I trusted, I loved, who I had dinner with many times, I sat in her house, we baked together, planned together, and she bough gifts for my kids... this woman I have strong feelings of love for, I began to feel so sad for. She will not be able to escape jail time. She will loose any ability to work ever again. how could she do this. 

Sunday after fair is clean up. While everyone worked on their barns, we started on the office. We removed everything, deviding it into piles, and transferring the things to different secured locations that we are not allowed to know where they are - police order. We went through files, helter skelter placed in so many random places. Finding that the lies went back years.... years and years. 

We all became implicated all of a sudden because it happened under our watch. All of a sudden I could lose any clearence I ever had because some idiot ... any job I ever had. Face jail time.... because I didn't catch it. It happened under my nose.... because I trusted someone. 

I really want to talk to people about it, but I just don't know how because I can't say anything. I have told some peope some things to help them understand why changes have happened, and ask myself, did I tell them too much? Did I open myself up for more problems? I just want to help others stay safe. 

I got home 2am sunday night/ monday mornig. I tried going back to work monday, but that was rediculous. I am havng trouble shifting back to work and focusing. I feel sick to my stomach. I have no appitite. I try to keep smiling for my family, but I want to cry. Who do I talk to? How do I tell them without telling them? why did this happen?

How can a person wake up every day, go to church, smile, and yet be lying to themselves and everyoe else the whole time?