Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Hi, I'm new to these boards, but I'm hoping someone can help me out :)
I am a very extroverted person. All of my friends would say that I am outgoing and high energy. But on the inside, I am super insecure. I worry whenever I'm not invited to outings that people don't like me. I tell myself I am being unrealistic because not everyone in this world can like you, but I have such a need to be with people, that I am willing to do activities that I don't even enjoy or even that compromise my morals in order to have more friends. I realize my real friends wouldn't push me to do things I don't like, but I feel so lonely whenever I don't get asked to go somewhere and then it causes me to become depressed. I am really shy when it comes to talk to people of the opposite gender and that has made it difficult for me to assert myself or be confident enough to have a relationship. I also feel really awkward in large groups of people I don't know. Sometimes I am surrounded by people, but still feel lonely. I've been seeing a counselor to help me, but it doesn't seem to work. I feel like I am repeating myself week after week and no change in the loneliness. Talking about it isn't helping, I actually need some solid and clear practical advice.
I'm wondering if someone could help me out? What has worked for you when you are feeling lonely to get past it? Thanks for your help :)
I am a very extroverted person. All of my friends would say that I am outgoing and high energy. But on the inside, I am super insecure. I worry whenever I'm not invited to outings that people don't like me. I tell myself I am being unrealistic because not everyone in this world can like you, but I have such a need to be with people, that I am willing to do activities that I don't even enjoy or even that compromise my morals in order to have more friends. I realize my real friends wouldn't push me to do things I don't like, but I feel so lonely whenever I don't get asked to go somewhere and then it causes me to become depressed. I am really shy when it comes to talk to people of the opposite gender and that has made it difficult for me to assert myself or be confident enough to have a relationship. I also feel really awkward in large groups of people I don't know. Sometimes I am surrounded by people, but still feel lonely. I've been seeing a counselor to help me, but it doesn't seem to work. I feel like I am repeating myself week after week and no change in the loneliness. Talking about it isn't helping, I actually need some solid and clear practical advice.
I'm wondering if someone could help me out? What has worked for you when you are feeling lonely to get past it? Thanks for your help :)
have an active social life.
I had one person to latch on to me that I had nothing in common with, that I didn't want to be friends with, and, for me, managing to get distance between me and that person, changed my perspective. I went from wanting someone around, even if I didn't like the person, to being happy alone.
You have to find things that you enjoy doing on your own. If you're out doing things that you enjoy, it's possible that you'll meet others with the same interest, but good friendships are seldom instant.
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"If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails... just leave it." Reyna Biddy
Maybe you aren't nearly as extroverted as you've presented yourself to be. Could it be a way of compensating for fear of being seen as shy or introverted - OR, going back to what I said above, something else where you've managed to use social interaction to fill the void but it's not working as well as it use to? I think learning to be alone with oneself has its merits...not as a means of isolation but to find value in who you are, with or without friends or social engagements.
You might think about scheduling together time with your friends but limit it to only twice a week so you have a balance of both social and alone time.
I'm sure you know that your value isn't registered upon how many places you are invited to or how many people you can call friends? What I do to help deal with the loneliness might not be useful to anyone else but for me, I read self help books, volunteer A LOT, take walks with my dog, watch comedies, stay abreast of politics, try to remain positive but allow myself to feel sadness and accept that some things are out of my control. I also stretch and exercise, though not enough!
I wish I had a "silver bullet" on how you could end your lonliness, but unfortunately I don;t. I would just recommend to focus on what you enjoy out of love and pursue those passions. Find love for yourself and the beauty you bring to this world. You're right in that you will never please everyone...so focus on pleasing yourself.