I have sorta given up hope, I am too weird and no one decent would put up with me for long and I have given up settling for men that would do me harm. I hope you have better luck.

You ask very good questions, but life doesn't always allow us to have the answers. I have no clue other than if it happens, it happens and if not, I have got to be okay with me above all. Hm...vegas, not a good place to find love. Lived there long time before I left. So not a good place to find true love.

You are both right - I give up

Love really is a mystery. No one really knows why some people find it and others do not. It could be luck or it could be fate. Just because there is so much uncertainty, that doesn't mean you should give up. Hang in there.

heretic I will say a prayer for you to gain a little love...not just a little sex maybe that way you can find that man for you....

No, it is not a mystery. I know the answer to it.
it is "already' ordained that: every man "has" his own wife, and every woman "has" her own husband. So what happens is, at some point in every person's life, your mate crosses your path, (and continues to cross your path wheather you get together or not) throughout your life. Usually (but not always) this crossing each others path begins during your teen age years. When u first meet that person, you know that u know you love them, even if u can not speak it out loud to yourself or outloud to them. Your heart just knows that it knows you have met up with "the one'. If you both can break the ice and find that way to get together, then you have succeeded in being with the 1 person you were meant to be with for a lifetime. If you's can't find a way to be together because maybe of interferrance that occurs maybe from other people that wants to keep u apart, what happens is, that person you are originally meant to be with for a lifetime "will" continue to cross your path throughout your life, in hopes to one day be together or for u both to see what your lives have become "without" each other. In other words, in most cases of this, "if u miss it, you miss it", and your situation ends up being, "What was meant to be can never be". There is a such thing as it "being to late" So never listen to people who say "it's never to late" because, that depends on what the "IT" is. Ok so,, when u missed or maybe messed up being with that 1 person u were ordained to be with for a lifetime, you end up having to pick a different mate for yourself. Of course the love is never gonna be the same as it "IS' for the original mate, but it is doable. More problems will occur between the 2 of u because of it not being the original person, but working out your differences is also doable. So what u have to do in "picking your own mate" at that point, (if u missed out on the real one) is to just leave your options open, surround yourself with the opposite sex that has your same interest as u do, and loving that person becomes more of a "decision to love them" and not so much a "feeling of loving them" like the original mate was (is) . Because a lot of people do not know that this is the way it actually is, is the main reason why there r so many mis-matches that end in break ups and divorce. So all I can say to you is good luck in "finding" who u want to be with if u have "not yet" naturally crossed the path of that one and only person u know u were suppose to be with

Andrea,
I have to ask, what are your theories based on? How do you know everything is ordained?
I really don't think it works that way. I really don't think man is allowed to have the answer to that question. I truly believe love can be found, it is just there are a lot of messed up things in the world that prevent it.
While I do believe in the soul, I am not sure there is one particular soulmate for each of us.
Some theorize that souls travel together, reincarnate, and life after life may change places such as your child may have been your great-grandmother or something.
Others believe in astrology, how do we know who is right here? There are a lot of theories out there.
Personally I think we have to be in good mental health to have a good relationship. Finding two people who are well balanced these days isn't easy, but it is possible.

Well put esther. I agree that we need to be in a good mental state in order to find and maintain a healthy relationship. And I too don't believe in soul mates. I believe that there are many different people out there that we can form a healthy relationship with. It just takes some patience.

esther10, I didnt say "everything is ordained". "You" said I said "everything" is ordained, and I didn't. I dont speak 'theory". I speak "fact and truth". Some people just know these things / certain things and, some people don't. That's just the way it is. That's ok that u dont think it works that way. I do understand why u think and feel the way u do. Thanks for your response.

love finds the one who awaits patiently and faithfully for that lover to come to them. first you gotta 100% love yourself before you search for love in another person.

Its a mystery to me as well. I have trouble finding that "special someone". I date but it is hard to find that mutual attraction. Most times I like them but they don't like me or they like me but I don't like them. It's getting frustrating.

At Truthlive, I think you are right, a person needs to love themselves first and be happy with their life as it is, but it can be so hard when you feel hopeless. There was a time when I was very content with my life but looking for love and not finding it just made me miserable again. I want that content feeling back again.