Well I can't find people at all right now.
But I did have a near-marriage once. I sure wanted the house to myself sometimes, just to watch TV and brood.
Is there any way you can set up one alone day, one couple day?

Hi I know how you feel. I'm not married but I get very lonely. I don't know if I'll be much help. I'm feeling lonely today. I do hobbies and work in the yard. Some people workout I'm not much into that.

Thank you Terri and Scrofula for your advise. I try to keep myself busy on my days off, but it is just really intense today. We tried one day, but that was not enough time for him. I asked him if we could do more activities together, but when he asks, he includes other people as well. Other than that he wants to watch tv. It just feels like in order to spend time with him I have to cave in and watch tv and that isnt helping my mood. I find tv depressing every night and told him that, but the saga continues. Am I crazy for wanting quality time alone with the person I am married to? We have a roommate and I expressed that I want to transition to just the two of us living together and he said we would need to work up to that financially. Last night he told me that he wants to rent a music studio space on the other side of town. It just hurts bc I want to move forward into married life with a partner that wants to spend some quality time together. I dont know what else to do except just keep doing things without him and hope he will want to join me again sometime. I really appreciate your advice. sorry for venting.

No its ok you vent all you want.

Thank you

Perry, sounds like you are in an interesting situation. I am a male and can tell you that some men like myself really enjoy being alone. I love being with people as well but when I used to go out with my significant other I would feel like we had nothing to do. It was an interesting feeling and once she told me I really put effort into it and I realized that it was an insecurity within myself I was afraid of saying something that may hurt her feelings. I feel great now though, try activities that you love doing by yourself but with him next to you. Like fishing, or going on a little wine date and just feel each other's company. Find a cool hobby and pay attention to yourself, only you can love yourself. Don't expect and appreciate the little things he does. Some people love in different love languages sometimes with gifts or re assurance but it does not mean you both love in the same way. You are not asking for too much, but I suggest looking into yourself for love and entertainment. You'll find much security.

I absolutely had to have alone time. Nothing personal, just a mental thing. I usually stayed up an hour later, and that worked pretty well.
Also, my ex had a few gay friends, and they made much better companions for Saturday mall shopping. I could stay home guilt-free.

Thank you ReaDyo and Scrofula. I like my alone time too and believe that it is healthy for everyone to take. I am just wanting some balance in that. I will certainly take your wonderful advice and give it my all. Thank you again

But while it's normal to want alone time, it sounds like your husband is purposefully distancing himself. There's a bit more to the story there. I think you should try stepping up more forcefully, and explain that marriage means being together. You probably had a lot of those talks already, but maybe you could be a little more authoritative, forceful, clear, concise.

Thank you very much Scrofula. I do need to be more assertive as well and agree. I tend to be more passive when issues arise. It could just be his insecurities too. I talked with him and he expressed that he has typically been in relationships with women who were more in charge and he likes that we are both more relaxed and that he is more reclusive. That people he dated in the past felt similar as I do. I think the issue may be my outlook and my assertiveness. I can accept him as he is with what makes his life feel full and ReaDyO gave some advice that I am going to take which is to invite him to do more things that I am interested in and love myself. I am always willing to try new approaches and am felling uplifted by your and everyones support. It feels like a different day today. Thank you so much.

Hi Perry. I am far from an expert on healthy relationships. But here are my thoughts none the less. Possible cause: You may be in a rut or your husband is lazy about your relationship. Men that I date get into lazy mode within a few short months. I am fascinated by people who are married long-term LOL. Do you sense any interest in activities that you can share together? For example, would you be interested in working with him in a studio?

If you can think of the most interesting activity that you and he love and can do together, would he show any interest at that point with you alone? If the answer is no and if you have already tried this a couple of times, I think marriage counseling is your best bet. It may be your best bet anyway. I don't like to see marriages end and I hope this can be worked on between you two. Share with him an activity that you have tried that you really like. For example if you tried kayaking, go on a kayaking day trip together. If that doesn't work I would consider marriage counseling.

Thank you so much for your response! I talked to him following posting this and things have improved much. I love your advice about developing some activities and inviting him. He thankfully was very open to how I was feeling and said that this has happened in past relationships too. So I decided to think about it in terms of patterns. We each have our own patterns that we tend to repeat because they feel safe or comfortable for us; sometimes as partners our job is to positively challenge the patterns that are not working. So far, me having a more positive outlook on what we both need to change and offering solutions when talking about them has helped a lot. Thank you for your help! It is nice to meet you!