How do you want to spend your together time? Do you have outside interests or is he the center of your life?

hmm, whatever he said sounds inconsiderate tbh about how his hanging out with others and ur feeling lonely :( have u ever thought of self care before your partners? there is saying "in order to be loved, you must love yourself". I am sry, your feeling this way but try talking to him about how you feel, it may help. Hope it works out, darling. warm hugs

I really don't care what we do to spend time together. I'm always trying to get into things that he enjoys to get him more involved..... he'll do things that I enjoy I guess to satisfy me but as sooooonnnnn as we get home he goes to laugh joke n hang with the neighbor ...... Ive talked to him about how I feel on several occasions but all he say is that I just don't want him hanging with his friends... it's not that though.... I just feel like they do and involve him in things that makes him take 10 steps backwards n that is not the person I met n fell for.... I don't think they should be more important to him than I am

So he spends time with you to "satisfy" you, then goes hang out with friends. I'm really not seeing a problem here. Maybe he just likes hanging with friends. Do you ever go hang out with girl friends?

He always puts them first.... for instance one day I was leaving to take my daughter somewhere and I told him I would be far away and my son will need to be picked up..... I blew his phone up and 45 minutes later he called back... I told him what I needed n that I was on the way but still far out.... he told me that he was busy n couldn't do it.... so really he was out smoking n chilling he said..... whatever they need he does for them and when he needs something he reminds me it's my job not theirs..... they never help him with anything but when I call it out he snaps on me..... if I go hang out he will stay home n when I get home he says well I waited on you for 3-4 hours so don't get mad that I'm deciding to use my 3-4 hours out the house now

Oh well, it guess it is what it is.

Are your children of a previous relationship or is he the father?

Um I have a friend with the exact same problem. I think it's safe to give you the same advice. Start doing things for yourself. Find you a hobby. Something that makes you happy. Why should you put your life on hold waiting for him to come around. The best way to get someone's attention is ignore them right back. When you're tired of the same old dance then dance how you want to and stick to it. Before you know it everyone around you will start dancing to your steps.

Yes, Corabelles question: Is he the father of your kids? Why did he stay home while you were out 3-4 hours?
At any rate he sounds like an estranged partner. You're trying "(working) hard and he's barely working." If you have no strong reason to stay with him I would leave if you're able- if you have others who can help with your son, etc.
I've learned to ask myself basic questions like" are you happy with this person?" How do they really make you feel? Are you settling for crumbs of emotion from them when you're starving and need a whole meal? Sad to say, the person who cares the least is always in control in a relationship. If you don't like what's happening and you have no commitments, look for someone who loves you preferably even more than you love them. In that situation you 'll be the one sought after for company/ companionship, and it sounds like that's what you're craving.