So today was my first day of physical therapy and i am left with more questions than answers. still. 

The physical therapist - dr dan.. lol - does not believe that it is a crushed c7 like the dr does. He thinks it presents too much like carple tunnel, and was confused by the results in the chart. Frankly, he said he was afraid to treat me in a lot of ways until the MRI because he doesn't want to mess anything up and feels like we are shooting in he dark right now.

So here is my physical therapy experince. First they give me a chart in 3 pages that maps out the whole body in detail that i am to mark where it hurts right now today and what kind of hurt. I was challenged 3 times by 3 different people on all of the areas i marked. yes - those places all hurt right now and yes they all hurt about 90% of my day. 

Then you walk into this room that reminds me of a combination of toddler play area and torcher dungeon. Next i do silly things to see if it hurts me more or less.... neither - constant. I am surrounded by all of these geriatric and cripped people struggling strenuously to do anything, and all i can think is what am i doing here.  I have had poor dr experiences in the past so i want to be comfotable and ask questions to the dr about why he chose this and what he likes about his job. he chastizes me for not counting chin tucks and elbow bends but guessing as i talk to him. 

i don't know anything about the equipment and I am re-guessing what i think comfort and normal means in my life, so i don't know how things should fit or what things should feel like or how to know if anything is working. overall I am just very confused. 

At the end of my almost 2 hours I am asked if i feel any better .... no? was i supposed to? I mean it's just the first day, right?

he asks me to come back on friday scared that if we stop the insurance company will not pick up and pay for it again, but i am responsible for half each payment up fromt anyway..... so is this worth it or just another finacial drain on my family?

Then i call my dr and talk to him about the stabbing pain in the base of my head from the steroids and how it makes my muscles ache. that is apparently a reasonable side effect and i am told to just continue and it will be ok. 

 i just don't know what to think. am i making the right decisions? what do we know anyway? should i be taking some other tests to help me understand what is really happening? how will i know if it is working or not? what if all this is for nothing?

i feel so lost.... am i doing the right thing?

:) Susie