Of course you can fix it and you are at the best age to start working on it. Take it from an old girl who didn't have the help available that you have when I was that age. God, that makes me feel old lol. I used to be on DS a few years ago too but find it much more helpful and supportive than it used to be. Just remember nothing is too badly hardwired at your age, and no matter how hard it gets, keep trying. Are you seeing a counsellor? If not, its a good place to start your brand new life. Good luck and hugs to you hon.

hon, I read your profile....one thing you can do for yourself is stop trying to figure things out. Many of us here have YEARS on you and I think it's pretty safe to say none of us have figured things out YET! lol
I can relate to what you say about your friendships....many people I know would be shocked to know the 'me' I expose here. People just don't want to know...it means putting in the energy to care about someone else and as the world progresses, that's just not a convienient option because people get progressively more & more selfish.

Sorry ...got distracted and submitted comment before I was done...

Looks like you'll be graduating pretty soon...are you planning on college? It may be a year away but many applications/forms need to be submitted waaaaay in advance. I think getting away from home and being with other young women your age would be a life-changing experience for you. I regret I didn't follow thru with my after-HS plans....but live & learn. Focus on your goals for the next year, and in the meantime try to get involved in some kind of social activity, like the local library. Or volunteer at your local hospital. Both would broaden your horizons a bit and present the oppurtunity for new friendships. Best wishes and let us know how you're doing. =)

The main thing is to give yourself time, as others say us old girls aiin't figured things out, it's not a race, doesn't all come as one great revelation, you find out things as you go along, we stumble, pick ourselve up and move on as best we all can. There are people out there like you who care, and need to look after each other.

You will get there just be kind to yourself on the way

Thanks guys. I honestly didn't think a single person would comment. i have already graduated, I did this year. I'm taking a year off to figure things out. My parents are very controlling so I have been more focused on finding somewhere to move out to at some point, now or later, than anything. I know the past is the past but my lonliness now is so consuming because of how i've had my heart broken in the past. I don't much believe in love anymore. Guys are snakes, at least teenage guys are. I've never been the brightest, nor super popular, and always self-consious. Life is just so stressfu.l No i haven't and don't see a counselor because my parfents think they are for "crazy people" and i'm "not crazy" and "it's a waste because I have two parents I can talk too, whereas other kids don't and that's WHY they see counselors." Also it's a lot of money and I'm afraid my parents will find out all my secrets.

Awwww bless your little heart. I feel for ya kid. I really do. How come u were banned? I'm sure some of us are gonna be curious.
That's good u r getting your frustrations out on the board.

reply #5 twinkiegi, This is really important for u to learn. The reason why most kids see a counselor is because their parents ARE the problem. That means, their parents are the ones they "can not" go to. A child does not have parents to talk to when the parents ARE the problem. Some kids dont even know how much of a problem and damage parents may have done to them until AFTER they get counseling and learn how to re parent themselves. I'm going to tell you "why" your parents are telling u a counselor is for "crazy people". It is because your parents are scared to death of u "exposing them" for being controlling and how it has effected you. And exposing them for the wrong things they may have done with raising u. Your parents do not want THEIR secrets out. You think "you" are afraid of hiding "your" secrets. Your parents are" terrified" you are gonna expose "theirs" so they are making damn sure u do not tell. They are doing that by making u BELIEVE, "If u go to a counselor, you are crazy. And u dont want to be crazy or embarrase us as your parents now do u? That's exactly what they're pullin on u. It's a guilt trip and they made sure u fell for it. That might be a lot of where your stress is coming from because u r trapped from getting the help u need to take all the unnecessary stress off u.

I dont think a counselor is allowd to break your confidentiality by telling things to your parents if u r under 18. I would check on that though. I do know that a "Child Lawyer" (who helps the child sue their parents for abuse) does not and is not allowd to break confidentiality. The parents know nothing of the conversations.

There are other counselors u can see that wont break your confidentiality like a Pastor at a church, which is also free counseling. Some churches have free professional counselors as well. You'd have to just google or call around. Maybe someone here has links to places where u can get free confidential counseling. I know there would have to be a lot of them. There is always a way financially to handle counseling expenses.

You do have to let your secretes out so u wont be consumed by the damage holding secretes causes. There's a saying, "Keeping your secrets secret, is what kills you". And it's true.

fuck all the haters on here. say what you feel and let them keep talking shit. people judge way too much. and for those who judge, just ignore them or address to them that it's time to get the hell away