You said, "And now I have to be my best, try and be fun and charming tomorrow". Please do not go into this thing "being on your best behavior". Please know that is, so old, and so fake, and very easy for "anyone" to see thru, especially men. If you do not think u can meet with this guy and "just be you", minus all the fake stuff, then I say do not go until you are "really" ready to start dating someone and having a "healthy" relationship with them. The way you'll know if u are "not" ready to date, is if things move "fast". An 80 year old Psychiatrist told me once, "When you think things are really going great, you are actually on a fast track going down, and you dont know it. And he is very right. And I know u might say, "NO Andrea, you are mis understanding me". I'm sorry to say but, I understand u very clearly based on what u have said in your post. And, you do not have to look at my reply as a bad thing, just use it to grow from.

I wish you luck with meeting this person you met online. Maybe you can think about people here routing you on on your date. Just knowing there are people who care can relax you and make you feel better. I really hope hope this date and meeting will go well for you. I can understand how scary that would be as I am a shy person but when I think about people who care about me it can help me.

hey heretic...nice job getting a date...hope it is good one with good guy...coffee is great idea...talk then walk if he is nice...go around block or something hold hands be nice enough to say hey had good time but I am not ready...

from other posts sexually you can go with all emptyness and that is not what you want is it? I guess I am just saying be yourself and real...your bright gal and funny too...depression in relationships also happens and did it need to ruin them? It just oddly does seem to ruin relationships...hugs bill

I'll bet he's nervous too! Just be yourself, and instead of trying so hard to make yourself feel less nervous, your job is to help him relax too. Concentrate on what he has to say and not how nervous you may feel and things will probably improve after the first 5 minutes. Just have fun!

Trudijane

how is it now that the date prob has happened?

There is a level of trying to be on our best .. but not just for others, for ourselves. I don't think of it as dating but friending. I know, made up word, friending. But truly just go with the idea of making friends, there are always levels to the onion to peel back. Each new level we determine if this is what we really want in the next level or more serious relationship. We may choose to remain friends, depends on your expectations, there is no overnight in love and married for ever experience, we start working on friendships and building them over time. I'm not thinking marriage will be any different. Of course that coming from a single guy who refuses to think desperately.

The date went really well, we talked for over an hour and may see each other again this weekend. Who knows what will happen in the future. He was easy to talk to and I felt pretty relaxed once I was there. Thanks to everybody - your advice really did help.