Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Hello
This is my first post. I wanted to get perspective on a situation.See if there are any solutions. I know I need to go out. My ex and father of my child is resentful of our separation even after many years have passed. He says and does hurtful irritating disrespectful things to antagonize me and I feel like other people share his opinion of me and I feel like I can’t form bonds with anyone because I’m nervous all the time and I keep crying at work and I feel really vaunerable and exposed at the school picking up our child because I worry about the humiliation he’s causing and weird rumours he spreads so we don’t really form bonds with people in our community because I don’t know how to make them understand they have the wrong impression because even if I explain which is difficult because I have low self esteem because of the constant subtle attacks over time have just worn me out. I’m afraid they will just see disfunction and be turned off or will pity us. I have been to many counciling sessions but I can never really be honest about what it’s doing to me because I’m afraid they will see me as unfit to care for our child even though they are independent and very smart. Or maybe that is just another scare tactic that isn’t true. I love our child and I want our lives to be good in this community . I chose to live in a more expensive part of town to have a safer community but he just makes us feel bad that we can’t afford luxuries.He showers our child with expensive gifts and shows off things he buys on impulse, but our child is not in sports or camp for the summer and I can’t understand his actions. He is very social and has opportunities to bond with other family’s but won’t unless he ruins they’re opinion of me first or plays with my head until I sabotage it myself. He started seeing someone recently and I thought it would stop but now he just pays Less attention to our child and uses his relationship to make me feel bad about myself. I just want to go out and make new bonds but I feel like I can’t escape him. It is hard to not believe what he is saying and hard not to think that they will believe him over me because he tells everyone that I am making him suffer the the things he is guilty of doing to us. And I want out of this cycle while I’m still relatively youngish enough to have another family and marry someone else. I just don’t know how to start and I am afraid to be found out and be an object of gossip or have my child’s friendships or social opportunities limited. Is that irrational? Any ideas on how to fight back?
I am really sorry for what you have been through. Being attacked and abused by someone supposed to be supportive is really not easy, especially when we are not having a good state of mind or self-confidence. Sometimes, we fall apart. And as you mentioned, I think that the hardest part is when people don't believe/listen to us, and prefer to listen to the abuser instead.
Anyway, on to YOU. Having a young child is a great way to make new friends. DONT think about what your ex may or may not have said about you. Don't waste energy on this. Invite one of your child's school friends to come over to play. Then you get to meet the Mum, perhaps you do this a few times, you have a new connection! And it's good for your child.
Being a single parent is tremendously difficult- i' e been one my child's whole life. I never met anyone else to have more kids with. You may or may not, but don't feel in competition with your ex- just because he moved on to someone. Concentrate on a good life for your child and yourself. That's the way to fight back.
Good luck!