Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I have always been a person who attracts friends easily.
I have also been a person who seems totally incapable of keeping them.
Latest example -
I made a friend and we became close straightaway, hanging out together a lot. I took her to hospital, she did stuff for me, etc. She is just out of a very long term marriage (35 years) and all about flirting, man hunting, having a good time. She is very attractive older lady being 56. Ive tried to support and encourage her with her divorce which she appears to be taking very well, enjoying new freedom.
She is like watching a teenager though where men are concerned and it used to bug me when all she did was drone on about herself and how many men want her. She is seeing a young guy now and insists on providing TMI, like "i left him home in bed yum" almost every gd day, which ive never responded to. also she used to fill my ears droning on about a guy she was dating who turned out to be a cheater as well as a bore. (i was so patient). She was also always looking for other men and dating them too. I started a relationship with a mutual friend so was not on the "scene" but still going out and having fun with her and trying to be a friend, going places when i didnt feel up to it etc.
One cold dark rainy night we had organised to go out. i knew i shouldntve gone as i loathe nights like this but knew my friend would have a go at me if i stood her up.
The week before she was partying at this venue with her daughters and met a guy she was keen on so wanted to go back to catch up with him. I had guessed just from what she said that he was not interested. Anyway against my better judgement I met her there, found her alone in a bar full of Irishmen (not a good thing btw) flirting away. I was cold, wet, had been lost, staggering around an unfamiliar carpark, I'd tried to call her and she didn't answer her phone (even though she was expecting me) and i said "great. no room at the bar" and she goes..what the hell is wrong with you tonight? like id said one sentence.
I said, Im wet, cold, etc...i cant just jump into a brilliant mood immediately plus thers no room for me to buy a drink. if youre going to give me a hard time ill turn around and leave, i didnt really want to come here anyway.
Next thing she grabs her bag and storms out, to leave me alone in a crowded bar full of horrible leering men!
I went after her, said, How dare you leave me there alone like that...we had brief words...and I left - she was already hooked up with a guy.
The next day I sent her an sms saying "sorry x i should not inflict myself on others when depressed...hope you had a good nite anyway....which I didn't actually feel like I should do, but wanted to mend things...and no response. Just dead cold silence for days now.
Is this normal? What should I have done/not done? I sound like a pathetic teenager, but that's how isolated I feel. I just cannot seem to do a thing right.
I have also been a person who seems totally incapable of keeping them.
Latest example -
I made a friend and we became close straightaway, hanging out together a lot. I took her to hospital, she did stuff for me, etc. She is just out of a very long term marriage (35 years) and all about flirting, man hunting, having a good time. She is very attractive older lady being 56. Ive tried to support and encourage her with her divorce which she appears to be taking very well, enjoying new freedom.
She is like watching a teenager though where men are concerned and it used to bug me when all she did was drone on about herself and how many men want her. She is seeing a young guy now and insists on providing TMI, like "i left him home in bed yum" almost every gd day, which ive never responded to. also she used to fill my ears droning on about a guy she was dating who turned out to be a cheater as well as a bore. (i was so patient). She was also always looking for other men and dating them too. I started a relationship with a mutual friend so was not on the "scene" but still going out and having fun with her and trying to be a friend, going places when i didnt feel up to it etc.
One cold dark rainy night we had organised to go out. i knew i shouldntve gone as i loathe nights like this but knew my friend would have a go at me if i stood her up.
The week before she was partying at this venue with her daughters and met a guy she was keen on so wanted to go back to catch up with him. I had guessed just from what she said that he was not interested. Anyway against my better judgement I met her there, found her alone in a bar full of Irishmen (not a good thing btw) flirting away. I was cold, wet, had been lost, staggering around an unfamiliar carpark, I'd tried to call her and she didn't answer her phone (even though she was expecting me) and i said "great. no room at the bar" and she goes..what the hell is wrong with you tonight? like id said one sentence.
I said, Im wet, cold, etc...i cant just jump into a brilliant mood immediately plus thers no room for me to buy a drink. if youre going to give me a hard time ill turn around and leave, i didnt really want to come here anyway.
Next thing she grabs her bag and storms out, to leave me alone in a crowded bar full of horrible leering men!
I went after her, said, How dare you leave me there alone like that...we had brief words...and I left - she was already hooked up with a guy.
The next day I sent her an sms saying "sorry x i should not inflict myself on others when depressed...hope you had a good nite anyway....which I didn't actually feel like I should do, but wanted to mend things...and no response. Just dead cold silence for days now.
Is this normal? What should I have done/not done? I sound like a pathetic teenager, but that's how isolated I feel. I just cannot seem to do a thing right.
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
She's the one who is losing out by her behavior. When she passes through this phase she will miss you. Many men and women go through this phase after a separation/divorce if nothing else to 'prove' to themselves that they can still be desirable and show their former mate that they can have a life without them.
TIA
Anyway, why are you looking to yourself for fault? Why not just let her find herself and you be there to help pick up the pieces or celebrate the new woman that she has become.
Surely a friendship can survive a person who cannot seem to do the right thing ... even when that did nothing 'wrong', even when that person went out on a cold wet night when she did no want to at the request of a friend. If I had a friend like you, i would cherish you not, not disrespect you,
Look at your own self-worth. You are worthy. You are good friend.
hugs I guess this too shall pass...