I relate, it is hard to find friends who express willingness to make time to keep or cultivate friendship.

I struggle with loneliness, and having difficulty making new friends that are of substance, they all seem to busy to make even an hour or two for coffee. Then I try to re-ignite old friendships, but other people have moved on and don't have a sincere interest in my friendship.

I am trying to have gratitude for what few friends I do have, but in honesty, I often feel sad and maybe even some resentment that I am 99% the one who is trying to maintain the friendship with invitations to get together and do things, and they always say they are so busy, and yet, they end up telling me all the time that they are making to do things with other people, and I don't get included.

I look at myself and figure something is wrong with me, I am not a desirable enough friend. I am overweight, I have had lots of mental and emotional health issues and relationship issues, so I feel "not good enough" to be seeked out and desired as a friend.

I have been praying about this, I don't have any answers for you, I wish I did, sorry, all I can share is that you are not alone by offering my own lonely lack of fulfilling friendship experiences.

I understand where both of you are coming from so I can definitely empathize.

I have one friend in particular who lives here but as she tells me she is wife, mother, grandmother, take care of everything and everyone person blah blah blah. Wow. I'm sure you've heard the expression about Being the friend that you would like to have. I've tried that with her but I think I'm trying too hard....not getting anywhere. I do things for her, I ask how things are going, she doesn't even ask how I am, nothing. Forget getting together. It makes me sad. I just need to redirect my time and energy to cultivating friendships with people who treat me cherishingly, who make time for me, who are concerned about me, etc.

And seeking, I battle the "something is wrong with me" feelings too but you are desirable, you are worthy. We just have lousy friends.

Wow what an appropriate post for me right now! This is a current struggle for me, finding the friends that are willing to reciprocate - it too makes me feel undesirable. My issue is and has been for a while, that I expend most of the energy and effort into my friendships, with the exception of a few. Interestingly, I do not have issues with people making time for me if I reach out and put out an invite. People come over for movies, have coffee, dinner, wine, go to events, whatever I ask. For the longest time, I've been feeling I should just be grateful for that, but lately I have just been feeling that is not enough. Why should I always be the one reaching out, always inviting but never invited? I even organized my own birthday party and no one else lifted a finger. Everyone gave up an entire day to spend with me for my birthday, but I found myself wishing that someone had organized some sort of surprise or something else, to show they were thinking of me. I have a group of friends who always go out together and they forget about me - inevitably one of them will ask if I am going to such and such, but of course the organizer forgot to invite me - well honestly, if I have been forgotten, why the heck should I make any effort to go? I 've been feeling lately like I force invites and force myself into situations, and while I am never rejected, if I am not invited on my own, doesn't that say something? I'm tired of being vulnerable in that way and showing my insecurity. I've joined two meetup groups and have been welcomed into both of them, which has been nice. Whether I will find lasting friendships from that I do not know, but at least there's a group of people I enjoy that I don't have to force an invite to! I am working on being self confident, and being ok with not getting very many invites - accepting the fact that I am just not one of those people that stands out and attracts people to them, like a lot of my friends (for some reason I have a ton of outgoing friends!). I'm not going to give up, per se, but I do want more of a healthy balance. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with me, it just means I probably need to be looking for different types of relationships and being more self confident in the ones I do have.

I can relate to what people are saying here. It seems like the few friends I have never inititate anything with me either. I am the one who calls to talk or invite them to something. If I didn't make the effort, nothing would ever happen - or so it seems. I often wonder if I'm just too serious and not enough fun - like the other people that they hang out with. That might be the case. But I can't totally change who I am.

I can totally relate, NONE of my "friends" came in contact with me at all this summer, two of them only did when they wanted me to do something for them OR wanted to know something. I went to them all of last summer and they live very far away. NOT one of them came here this summer. I'm done, after graduation, I'm writing them all off. It sucks but it needs to happen.

@sweetbutterfly - I think you'll find that you will meet more mature people after you graduate - I know a lot of people still have friends from college or high school, but most of my friends are from my working life. I have no friends from my teen or college years (and I am not on facebook).

I talked to my friend yesterday. We worked some things out. She told me that she has not been putting her other friends before me. I expressed how frustrated i have been when I am trying to work something out so we can get together. She was open to what I needed to say. We have always been close. We can be real with each other too.

I'm glad she was open to listening to what you had to say and that you were able to work some things out.

That's important! I have a very close friend who at one time I felt really did not prioritze me, I was upset and almost cut her off, but it turned out she felt the same way. We were both just busy with our lives so we worked it out. I am grateful for her. I'm glad you got it worked out and could talk to her but I would encourage you too also branch out and find other friendships and activities...

Hello, I am innerbeauty, and I feel the same way that you guys are feeling. I have a friend that lives about six hours away, and they will not make time to visit, and when I say that I will come for the weekend they have some many excuses. I struggle with making friends, and I can not understand why it is so hard for me to make friends. My friend just move, so now I am back to square one.

Sorry your friend didnt make time for u. Maybe she will another time.

Can so relate

Me too. All of it. I'm married with two grown children, but lonely as anything. I can't figure why people don't want to be friends with me. I hate it and I'm resentful and desperate.

Yes, I can relate to pretty much everything said in this thread, though I don't understand why this should be true for any of us. I try to be a good friend, try to make other people feel valued and important, thinking this will work out as some kind of friendship karma in the end -- but nobody has the slightest interest in trying to do any of that for me. I feel invisible and unwanted.

Anyway, at least Seuss has a ray of hope. Maybe the rest of us will too, someday.