Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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My ex gf and borderline personality disorder

Auri777
Auri777
I recently got out of a relationship with a girl who has borderline personality disorder... It's a condition that is hell for the people who have it and it's stems from very real issues with abuse and mistrust.. This girl has a huge heart and I consider myself to be the same way... We have been a huge source of comfort for each other but borderline can almost be like dimensiia where she forgets when she gets down... She forgets that I've been there for her and stood by her and can be even mean and not trust me for no reason... These are all classic borderline traits and I can't blame her and I'm trying so hard to be there for her but it's been so hard and lonely bc she gets so distant then when she's having a good day she needs me to be there still.. We broke up bc I couldn't keep sticking when she would push me away so hard then need me so much the next day... It's hell in a way bc she doesn't have the strength anymore to be there for me but I feel stuck being there for her bc it's not her fault and it's even preventing me from pursuing other relationships that would fill that void... I'm so lost today and confused.. I don't know what to do I feel so lost when she's having a hard day..
heretic
heretic
What does her doctor say? What does her therapist say?
These people are vital in getting her well, or as well as is
possible anyway. You can't be her sole support. I hope
she finds the help she needs and that you will have relief.
Auri777
Auri777
Her therapist has told her to come back, there's some type of hypno therapy or something like that that is a common thing that will help for bpd but she has other issues like social anxiety that make it hard for her to organize her thoughts or even commit or go to therapy and sometimes if I try to help she feels forced which always makes her even more anxious and I don't want her to associate therapy with stress or anxiety... It's so rough on me but I feel so selfish even thinking about myself bc of the hell she's in everyday... I don't know how I can help get her there without making her stressed... Sometimes I feel like I need to walk away but she has abandonment issues and Puts her in a bad space, I feel like I'm a bad person if abandone her... She's never had anyone in her life stick around and I want to give her that but I don't know if I'm strong enough... I don't know what to do.. Where domi even start..
gramybear
gramybear
I know as much as you want to, you can't be there for her if she keeps pushing you away and turning this into a one sided relationship. You have yourself to take care of which is only fair. I think it's time for the professionals to take over for awhile and then after she has had treatment, maybe you can get back together. Maybe for right now, she needs to work on herself and you need to do the same. Especially you. You are worth a lot and deserve a lot. Hugs
gustokitty
gustokitty
I agree she needs to be in therapy. You can keep suggesting without pushing. you can be honest about how you are feeling...but try to do it on her good day, not bad day, because it would be hard for her to "hear" you. I think you can still be around for her, but must take care of your own needs. I truly think you should be honest about this with her, and stay in her life, if only as a friend right now. Perhaps that is what she needs more than anything....along with therapy. Perhaps as a friend she can learn to trust you more too.
Auri777
Auri777
Thank u guys so much for the advice... I've been feeling selfish and guilt lately but I should just make it clear that I will have her back no matter what and I will start asking her very casually on her good days about therapy... Thank u for the advice it's a huge relief to feel like i can worry about myself a bit, it's not selfish I guess as long as I still am there for her..