Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Mental Health
/ Loneliness Support Group

My Confession

MrsScherer
MrsScherer
I am the biggest obstacle in my being lonely.
I can't make plans, because I will back out later (unless medically necessary). Or before I can answer, people make plans for me - then get disappointed when I don't care for the plans.
I tell people too little or too much.
I won't answer my phone for weeks, because I don't want people to hear my tone and question me about what's wrong. I don't have an answer to what's wrong.
I get part way to being friends with someone, but the minute they want to know about my life I begin to hide. I am afraid to share.
I am afraid that I will be as reliable to others as I am myself (not very)
There's a few legitimate reasons I have for being this way. But at the end of the day, I still don't understand why my resilience has faded so much.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I do exactly the same thing, it's almost like I'd rather deal with loneliness than to go through my spill over and over. I don't do well with long term friends because I don't like having to put that happy face on if not interested or just mentally exhausted. I will do things on a more sporadic basis because I hate planning and anticipation. My situation is a bit different in that our kids are grown and gone.
billwfriend
billwfriend
so are you looking to change? that would make a difference but it is your decision..
Deogee
Deogee
I know where you are coming from. I'm afraid to let other people know me. I too get halfway into friendship, maybe not even halfway, and then back off. I don't trust people. Maybe afraid if they know me they won't like me. So I end up very, very lonely.
MrsScherer
MrsScherer
Yes bill. The first step to change is realizing where I've gone wrong. And I have gone wrong in many places.
Today, I had lunch with my mother in law. I am usually shy, but opened up, made more eye contact, and showed interest. I wasn't insincere either.
I found out today that I need glasses. Perhaps a complete new look is in order.
mechellebelle
mechellebelle
I know this won't cover everything you wrote there, but one method I have learned works so well that I'll share.
When I don't feel like talking, or like talking about myself (either one) but I am committed to some plans with others,
I will just keep asking them about themselves over and over. People LOVE that and I can just sit and nod and usually leave feeling as though the meeting was a huge success on both parts AND I didn't put my foot in my mouth, or feel that I did (which is otherwise a constant for me).

Another trick is that I find going to places where there are several people, say at a swanky product party, if I sort of act a bit disinterested in general, I fit in so much better. I find I am just like everyone else there. Odd, and sad, to say that about society, isn't it?
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