Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Hiya folks. So I'm struggling with something, that to me seems serious, but in the end of the day, it really isn't. It is just me being silly honestly. So here it is. I have more or less fallen in love with someone. We have been friends for a good 8-9 years now, we have a similar past, and she is honestly the type of person I would want to date and be in a relationship with. Me and her, we hang out 3-4 times a week. We go to the gym, we go to church, do game nights, on occasion go out to grab something to eat, and just recently, (like yesterday). she would up coming to my rescue when I fell outside and hurt myself, because of her good nature.
My problem however is, it can never be. She doesn't want to date within our little group of friends, and there are some other emotional things on her end that more or less make it a non-starter. We had a really long conversation tonight about things, and how I was feeling, and it came out of the bag, and while it wasn't a train wreak, I could tell just from body language and the way she kind of stopped talking as much, that it bothered her that I felt this way for her.
My question, in all seriousness, is how do I let the feelings I have for her go. I don't want to ruin our friendship, for it is dear to me, and while I can talk a good game, deep down inside, I can honestly say I love her. I have had the feeling for a while, and I think with some of the things we have shared with each other, and how she is there when I really need someone, I have built it up in my head a little, and I realize it. I'm not really hurt by our conversation tonight or anything, but it did make me think that if this conversation were to happen again, it may cause her to pull away, and I'd prefer it not be because of me being silly.
It sucks being so lonely, not going to lie, because I worry that my attachment with these feelings is a result of that. No one will give me the time of day, due to my disability, and it frustrates me to no end. I'm an amazing person, if only they knew. They never give me a chance. It hurts and is frustrating, and I think if I'm being honest with myself, it is why she is such an important figure in my life right now. So yea, any advice you wonderful folks can offer would be a great help. I'm at a loss right now, and could use the guidance.
My problem however is, it can never be. She doesn't want to date within our little group of friends, and there are some other emotional things on her end that more or less make it a non-starter. We had a really long conversation tonight about things, and how I was feeling, and it came out of the bag, and while it wasn't a train wreak, I could tell just from body language and the way she kind of stopped talking as much, that it bothered her that I felt this way for her.
My question, in all seriousness, is how do I let the feelings I have for her go. I don't want to ruin our friendship, for it is dear to me, and while I can talk a good game, deep down inside, I can honestly say I love her. I have had the feeling for a while, and I think with some of the things we have shared with each other, and how she is there when I really need someone, I have built it up in my head a little, and I realize it. I'm not really hurt by our conversation tonight or anything, but it did make me think that if this conversation were to happen again, it may cause her to pull away, and I'd prefer it not be because of me being silly.
It sucks being so lonely, not going to lie, because I worry that my attachment with these feelings is a result of that. No one will give me the time of day, due to my disability, and it frustrates me to no end. I'm an amazing person, if only they knew. They never give me a chance. It hurts and is frustrating, and I think if I'm being honest with myself, it is why she is such an important figure in my life right now. So yea, any advice you wonderful folks can offer would be a great help. I'm at a loss right now, and could use the guidance.
I would suggest letting your friend be a friend and not bring up your feeling again. You never know were it might lead if you just be friends first. I would also suggest (without know your anything about your ailment) not letting it define you as a person. I know a lot of people with serious illnesses and the one thing always tell all of them and myself too. Is that the diseas is a circumstance and not a defining factor. You may have a illness , but in reality dose that illness decide who and what you are as a person? NO IT DOSENT. We choose to be the people we are.
I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to talk I am usually around during the week.
I too know what it feels like to be lonely. No fun at all.
That defining piece of advice is something that I'm still working on. I need to fix that before I can honestly get my life on the path I want it to be. Truthfully, I'm tired of being pitied, and worried about, and felt sorry for because of the hand I was dealt. I have no control over how my body is on a day to day basis, so I personally just flow with it. I do find it hard however, for it not to come out at some point though.
MsFrustrated, I do consider myself very very lucky. My loneliness stems from mostly that I've been single for almost 3 years now. I do have a couple friends, and I'm blessed to have them in my life, even if I only see the rest of them once every month. My heart tends to be so big and wanting to care and help, that being here at my residence, all by myself, it can be overwhelming that I have no one to give my love to. It's a struggle, that I'm working on. I hope that you can find someone that can fill that whole in your life too. We as humans aren't meant to be alone, and we deserve to be able to share our talents and gifts and passion with another.
Lovebeing, I agree that it is hard, but I will have to find a way. I hope that we can continue as well, time will tell on that. And annet, i hadn't considered that, but I would take a guess that she probably wouldn't go for that. I think that is just one hurdle, among a wall of problems she has with the world. It is hard to explain without completely betraying her trust and saying all that has gone on in her life, so I will just leave it at that. :)
It is hard to date a friend sometimes it is worth it but it has to be a strong connection that you both want to take.
If she is saying no then I would say not the one!
Sorry.
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My advice is continue being friends, and don't push her, and don't bring it up again, unless down the road you can tell her feelings have changed. Meanwhile, try hard to expand your social circle. And I need to take my own advice, and expand mine too. just and fyi. ;) I also tend to get attached to people, and I don't like the effort of going out and making new friends.