Hi. Thats all it takes, one hello and your world is built right? But whats a hello when you have to let it go? I move all the time with my fam but it sucks.. cause I hate making new friends.. and as soon as I get close to someone I ahve to leave them. I went through a slump where i just diddnt bother to make friends. It seemed when i did all they ddid was treat me differntly, my opinion never counted and i felt like shit all the time. I moved schools (for the sixth time, and am going to finsih grades 10,11 and 12 so no fear in making friends now.. but i still ahve that fear and anxiety. No one ever appreciates me and I feel lonely, even when i am surrounded by friends... I don't ahve much in common with anyone it seems. I dont have sovial media, dont listen to music, dont wear makeup, dnt watch youtube or stay close to typical popular (ugh vomit) "memes" so conversation for me with modern teens is , somewhat-minimul. It sucks. All I do is smile and act happy and jump around like a raving lunatic  or sometimes just stand there in silence like a complete bufoon... but I just never ever feel like I will belong, or be enough for anyone.  I have low self esteem and vulnerability, I  lied about not being able to go to my boyfriends Bday party... not cause I diddnt want to go but because I wouldnt know anyone and i would be out of place... I wont go to the school dance with my boyfriend  cause I 'cant dance and I will likely shut down and cry or stand there bored out of my mind watching everyones purses and discared, highly uncomfortable heels. ( my boyfriend is the only person i feel close to.. but i just fucked that up and dumped him cause I was scared that I wouldnt be enough for him so thanks low self esteem for ruining that too....Evereyone loves my bubliness, my positivity and hapiness ( all a mask of complete shy and awkwardness) and I talk to everyone when I can ( i seem quite popular) but i have no friends in particular.... and i feel so lonely and well... odd.  How can I change??/