Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Lonely Relationship

SocalStarfish
SocalStarfish
I've been in a relationship for over a year and feel so lonely and rejected. My boyfriend is genuinely a solid man, but my feelings are he has relationship issues. He has never been married. We had a close and loving relationship for 6 months until we said "I love you" to each other. He then became less available, our sex life dropped dramatically, but we continued to text or talk everyday. Sleep overs stopped. This was extremely difficult for me to deal with as it created closeness and it was just taken away. I've tried talking to him, he said he was in a funk but didn't know why. Now he's had shoulder surgery 2 month ago and our relationship has changed to barely dating, although we still have contact every day. I've tried to break it off a few times but he is adamant he loves me and wants a future together. I tried again to talk to him a couple days ago. He says he is over the funk and wants to try again and start sleeping over each other's houses again. I am very skeptical. I'm so hurt by his withdrawing all these months I no longer want a closeness with him. I have no doubt he loves me and I love him, but my wounds are deep. I don't know what to do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You say you love him but the real question you need to ask yourself is are you still in love with him? It sounds like you've lost that spark that drew the both of together and you are really afraid that if you get close to him again you'll just end up getting hurt again. I don't think anyone can help with that since we don't know your boyfriend or can see into the future. If you and your boyfriend are willing I would suggest seeking out someone professional to talk to. I believe there are some relationship support groups here on DS that you might want to check as well. Wishing you the best.
koolman
koolman
Sounds like, after you both said "I love you", professed your love for each other, it got complacent and there was nowhere to go. Therefore, logic dictates NOT to say "I love you" anymore, but simply SHOW love for each other, in the form of sex in those sleepovers, and the more light-hearted, spicy talk you used to enjoy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Socastarr. I do relate i just got married 8 months ago 2nd marriage for me and his 3rd he is just so selfish lately and when he is around i still feel alone. I think he has same problem has yours. I dont think he nos how to be in a relationship and caring for a women. If you need to talk i am here for it would be nice Lisa
deleted_user
deleted_user
Very often if you ask a guy if he loves you etc he will say yes he does.
Because he knows that is what you want to hear and you will probably stamp your feet and scream blue murder if he says anything else.
Go by actions not words.
PinterestFan
PinterestFan
Sounds very much like he was seeing someone else. Either way,
he wasn't emotionally available for a long time and he is now.

If you are ready to end the relationship, you don't try to, you just
do it. There won't be a time when it's easy.

Good luck in finding the right guy, who will appreciate you.
SocalStarfish
SocalStarfish
Thank you everyone for your help. I appreciate your input. I started reading, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Textbook case of withdrawing to the man cave. Interesting reading and more insight into the differences between men and women and how we handle our emotions.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi honey do get that same feeling with my husband i think you need to find things to do together to take feeling away heres some we try; walking holding hands, talking together, play wii, cards, cooking together, massaging each others feet, laugh with each other, we play games on comp together like are you smarter than a 5th grader, family fued and its fun. Hang in there my sweet one. Lisa
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is an excellent book socalstar, breaks down the dynamics of men and women. I must say I agree with everyone else here If you and him are willing it might be best to goto counseloing together. I honestly believe if me and my wife went to counseoling eary on we would'nt be getting a divorce. If he seems distant towards you about the marriage thing he maybe just scared of that comitment. It maybe possible for him to change that feeling in time. You just have to ask yourself " is trying to save this relationship worth it to me"? If it is... perhaps you both should see someone. It may save your relationship in a way you never expected. Thing can and do change. Be well :-)