Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Isn't it funny the one you want to be with are never available and the ones that want to be near you you don't want..lol I'm tied of feeling lonely and I'm not sure how to begin to do something different, I don't just wanna be with anyone, I have this one"friend" in particular we've known one another for 8yrs he has all this people who hang around him or he them I'm never certain how that really goes, he has no money, no job, children all over a bunch of as he calls them side pieces who buy him anything he wants and yet he isn't happy, he seems to always be chasing the next Big Thing, I was once so envious then I got a real close up look, All these people he has access to yet when he needs a place to rest not one has space yet let there be a party or a weedfest he's the first they call , I don't need a bunch of folks just hanging around me to pass the time , I remember when we'd have so much fun together and now I don't even know who he is anymore, truthfully I sometimes barely reconize myself, I know I need to move forward because everyone says so but no one tells you how to begin,
I've been in different relationships. My last one was so hard when it ended. He wasn't a bad guy. We just weren't right for each other. We actually broke up a couple of times during the time we were together but then we would get back together. He hated being alone so every time we broke up, he'd go online and try to find someone else he could spend time with so that he wouldn't have to be alone. But it was all meaningless. Then we'd miss each other and get back together. We broke up the last time a little over a year ago. I couldn't stay in contact with him because it was too hard. But I imagine he's had a slew of other relationships since then. I, on the other hand, have not gone on even one date since we broke up. I came to the realization that as long as I was looking for a boyfriend or something else to complete me, I would only be happy as long as that lasted. And then when it ended, I would feel devastated and be back at square one.
I discovered that there had to be more to being happy than another person. Because even in a good relationship, we're both still human so that person is certain to disappoint me at some point. Over this past year, I've spent a lot of time praying, reading, spending time with a couple of close friends, and doing things I've enjoyed doing. And for I think the first time in my life, I feel joy inside my soul even as a single person. I know people have different feelings about this, but I truly believe it is all because I've drawn close to God. No matter what else happens, He is always there and will never leave me. It seems weird to think about but I've seen the evidence of this in my own life. I still long to find someone one day but it doesn't consume me anymore like it used to. I feel content... which is something I never imagined. Even if I am in the house all alone the entire day or even week, I am okay.
So how did I begin? That is how. Through prayer. I was gut honest about everything I was feeling, knowing that God could handle it. And it didn't happen overnight. But I can honestly say that today I don't feel lonely anymore. And I even feel joy. It's pretty amazing and I know it's not from my own doing.
One thing to consider though, is if any part of that connection is somewhere linked to some type of codependency. You need to be able to help someone. He needs to be helped. It can be a powerful draw and I have experienced it over and over in relationships.
Ultimately, you're right. We are all broken. But in the end, it depends on what you do with that broken. If he doesn't take the initiative to find a remedy to his brokenness all on his own, sadly you are in for more pain. And you don't have to be. You can be free of that. You can work on your own brokenness and learning how to become whole apart from relationship. Otherwise you are like two half people. A relationship works best between two whole people. Jerry Maguire was wrong when he said "you complete me."
I have spent the past year and a half learning how to become whole and learning that God is enough to complete me. I hope to meet another whole person one day, but until then, God is enough.