Loneliness Support Group

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Intimidation

hangin0n
hangin0n
Do you feel intimidated by socially successful people? We changed to a new school for my children and the parents who drop off their children are very fabulous- just so very, with their hair all fancy and expensive sandals and the lime. I'm not too comely and have never been popular, and it has been so long since I've made a friend that I just don't know how to approach any of them. Where are all of us?? Are any of you there too shy to talk to me? I really don't think so because I look around and everyone pretty much has someone to talk to. I don't even know any conversation openers. I'm venting. Do any of you know how to approach people anymore? My children are new to this school and they don't letmyou pass out birthday invitations to the other children in the class. So I HAVE to figure out a way to get cozy with the other parents soon because my daughter will need people to invite this October and she has a hard time making friends too. I don't know. I'm just stressed out and could use some help and encouragement.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, i feel intimidated by everyone! I cant stand the pple you describe and unfortunately their children will probably be mini them too. I always hoped i'd make friends at the school gate, it never happened.
I feel for your kids being new and of course you want them to make friends. If they dont allow party invites to be given out in class, whats to stop you giving them out in the playground before or after school? Your child knows who she likes, give the invites to her to give to her chosen few.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How about open house events. Usually they have those in the beginning of the school year and all the parents come with/without their children. I think that would be a way to meet new people. Or attend the PTA meetings and get involved in school activities. Then there is also sports; you can enroll your child in some sport for their age, if they desired to. I know people who appear to be financially better off make us feel intimidated. Actually underneath, I think they are just like the rest of us to a point. I know I feel uncomfortable around someone who appears "better off" than I am. But you never know til you get to know them. Can't judge a book by it's cover, right? The same goes for me....I struggle daily to make ends meet. But how would any one know about me and the person I am if they don't get to know me. Hope some of my suggestions are helpful. Just my opinion and things I have tried in the past. We moved a lot due to my husband's military career and had to meet new people all the time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I deal with this also. We waited a long time to have children, so I am older than a lot of the other moms. I long to be included in things, but never am. I wonder sometimes if it is because I am the "old" mom! Thankfully, my children aren't so much like me, and make friends easily. I just feel like I don't fit in. I have felt that way my entire life though. Do you volunteer at their school? That may be a way of meeting other moms. I tried that too, but my kids go to a tiny school (we are not orginally from this area) and the PTO girls have a clique and don't really give off the warm fuzzies! Most of these ladies don't have to work and have fablous clothes, cars, houses, etc. It does make me feel lacking in so many ways.
Does your daughter have a friend she especially likes? If so, maybe you could invite the friend over for an afternoon? Perhaps you could get to know a few moms that way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't have kids. But I do feel intimidated by social interaction. It helps me to remember that no matter how fancy someone's clothes, they put their pants on like I do: one leg at a time.

Don't start out thinking these parents are better than you, and certainly don't start out thinking that you are better than them. Try to start interactions with an open and fair mood. People seem more likely to accept you and respond better when they don't feel threatened or ashamed or put off.

Besides, you don't know their inner worries. Maybe they are tired of having to play "dress up" to impress the other parents and relish the idea of someone who is just plain honest and kind.