My mind has me trapped really bad! I live in a small one bedroom apartment with my mother, grandmother, two male cousins and myself. I have been out of my psych meds for sometime now and I feel like I am going crazy. I am not sleeping and I am not eating. I dont feel like myself anymore. I am losing sight of what is most important to me, which is getting my daughters back. I feel defeated in every way possible. I am doing things I wouldnt normally have done, but since the split with my abusive ex and the removal of my daughters I am not handling things well. I have mentally been suffering ever since my papa died almost two years ago now. Having to watch my grandmother suffer so much is really taking a toll on me, just seeing their relationship and how close they were. They were each other best friends and he had been in my life for like 23 years. He watched me grow up and as I look at myself in the mirror each day I know my papa would be so disappointed. I fucked up! I just want to fix it and get back right and make my family and my daughters proud of me. I just feel so alone, all the time. There was a point in my life where I was afraid to be alone. I couldn't stand the feeling and def couldn't bare the thought of me being alone but ever since leaving my ex I thought I had tackled my worst fear. I thought I was over it and although I am not scared anymore to be alone, I can't shake this feeling I keep having... 

I need some help please!

yours truly

Nykki