Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I went to a class/group therapy for vets with PTSD at the VA (I'm a veteran), and I had a tough time during class bc of the topic that was being discussed (radical acceptance) and I spoke and said that i am unable to accept the things that have happened to me in my life, bc the one living relative i have left in the world (my father) is not a good person and i am better off not speaking to him and being far away from him, so i dont speak to him, and i'm several states away. The bad thing is that i have no other living relatives left anywhere in the world, my mother died when i was 2 months old and i have no memory of her, her parents raised me and were the last people that trulu loved me and took care of me and showed interest in my life and wanted me to be happy and showed me that they loved me. They died when i was 13 and 14. I am 37 now. I went to go ive with me father and stepmother when i was 15 and lived with those people for 5 years and it was absolutely awful, when i was 20 i took all my stuff and left, and i've been all alone in the world ever since. This sucks and i hate it. I dont even have any friends in this city I live in, because of bad experiences with friends taking advantage of my kindness. with mother's day being tomorrow, I'm very very sad bc I never got to know my mom and ill never be able to, and my grandparents are dead too. I had hoped with all my heart that by now I'd be married and have children of my own, but apparently i have too many issues for anyone to want to deal with or for anyone to want to put up with me. I dont know what the problem is. My one hope for my life to get and feel better since I was 13 has been that someday I'll meet someone that can love me and want to share life with me and someday we'll get married and have a baby or two, and at least after being married then i'd be a part of a family again, even if were just the two of us; or if I had a long term serious boyfriend then i'd have someone to be there for me that I can love and I can be there for him, and I'd feel like i was a part of this thing called life. Right now I feel like I'm some kind of outcast of society bc everyone has plans this weekend or something to do on Sunday, and i've tried trying to talk to people I know, by texting or messaging and saying that i could really use someone to talk to, but since Thursday, when i went to the VA and started trying to find someone to talk to, no one at all has responded to me, and that just really really hurts. I feel like I dont matter as a human being and like I have no life, and I'll probably never have a life bc i'm 37 now and in a few short years I'll have to start keeping in mind that it will get less likely ill get to have children, and I'm just really sad and upset about all of this. also, everywhere i go there are things advertising mother's day, even on TV, or they advertize something related to babies and motherhood, and it just breaks my heart and i want to start crying bc I'm afraid I'll never find someone that wants to be with me and stay with me, and that also wants children or more children.
Where to start? Well firstly I can feel your pain through this post. I'm sorry you're suffering so much. There are many of us here lonely and isolated so you're not alone here. Many too that find Mother's Day incredibly difficult through loss. On Mother's Day I try to remember who my mother was, before illness, in happier times. I think of the good memories. You could reflect and remember your grandparents and the nice times you had with them. Mother's Day will be over soon so you won't at least have all the reminders in shops, on tv etc.
Well done for attending the va meeting. Accept help that's available, be it group or individual therapy it's worth a try.There's a ptsd group on d.s that might be useful to you.
Life can seem so unfair when all you want is the regular stuff that seems to come to other people so easily. I had a life plan and dreams quite a few years ago. Needless to say, life didn't work out for me the way I wanted. I have a son. But I don't have anyone else I count on. I too, crave a stable family life.
I also though, want to a accept what I do have. Try to find some contentment, because this could be it for me.
So, make yourself happy. I know it won't solve everything but try to find something that brings you joy. Anything, even a TV movie. And keep busy. Tackle those jobs/chores at home no matter how mundane.
I hope you'll find some relief here.
All the best to you.
Secondly I too feel I am getting sad about kids, it's like because I don't have any I am left out and can't participate in conversations. My community is old fashioned. Most people here get married at 18 or so and have kids. I think that is way too young but at least they seem happy.
A friend of mine once told me that he thought his lonliness would go away when he got married but he has been married near 10 yrs now and has 4 kids and he still gets lonely. I recently realized that it can't be all on one person's shoulders to relieve that empty feeling. I see that I need to reach out more and make friends.
Dating was always hard for me too. I always thought it seemed like everyone else was going to some kind of secret boyfriend store that I didn't know about.
I also think society is becoming more and more self centered and most people don't desire to be in a relationship. My bf has his flaws but he is kind and loving and wants more than anything to be part of a family. Your words about your family reminded me so much of his.
I sincerely wish you luck at finding someone. I am very unlikely to have children. I have known since highschool. Same for my bf. Remember that you can become a foster parent even if you are older.
We all feel for you. Many of us are in the same boat. I had terrible parents who are both deceased now. I have no family except for my brother with traumatic brain injury. When I was in relationships, the lonliness did not always go away It would depend on the connection you have with that person.
I see you as someone with a lot of potential to have a full life. You are still quite young and time is on your side
Hang in there and don't give up! Hugs to you!
@mferrara80 Human beings, on one level, are all brothers and sisters in spirit. You have a very large family! : D
There is the possibility of becoming a single mom, if not a foster parent. I suspect, though, your man is on his way...delayed unavoidably...well, I really hope so ; )