Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
i do nothing when i'm not with my boyfriend. i don't have any other friends because all the friends i did have are annoyed by me because i have too many problems all the time and they think i'm insane. my boyfriend, brian, is the only person that understands me, but he has friends he wants to hang out with so i just sit at home alone on my laptop. it's so boring. i want to make friends but once i finally open up to them, they don't want to be around me anymore. 8[
Has anyone every explained the progress/stages of relationships to you.
I'm not trying to be harsh... but I think you are either jumping in too quick or you are trying too hard and don't have healthy boundaries about what you share don't share with someone. (For instance, I had a good friend who I knew for 3 years before she told me she used to weigh 300 pounds!) She only felt safe sharing this with her closest intimate friends. An other person, my yoga instructor and I had gone to lunch in a group once before and she had been my yoga instructor for about 6 months. At lunch out of the blue one day, she blurted out that she was married to 3 men at the same time, her father had sexually abused her and she was an addicted to Pot and Alcohol. I was not judging her, but I was shocked. This was something completely inappropriate for her to be sharing with me. Too much intimate information - too soon. but what it made me realize was she did no share the same morals and values as I and I did not pursue the friendship any further.
Relationships start with Acquaintances. These are people like the clerk at the store, your hair dresser, the receptionist, the paper boy, the mail man. Other people at work in other departments. People at the gym. These are people you see often, but don't know that much about them. These relationships are light and superficial. Other than what they do, you know very little about them. There should be lots of people like this.
Out of these acquaintances over time, you will find you have some areas of commonality. For instance, you both have children, you read the same books, you attend the same church. Perhaps you
engage in the same sports. These people become associates you might want to learn more about them. You begin to associate with them like perhaps seeing a movie, or playing a round of golf.
In this case, the activity is more important than the person.
Now out of this group of associates, you will find some who share your values and your morals and you truly like them as people.
These people become your friends and it now becomes more important sharing time with the person, and not necessarily the activity.
Over time...(I stress this point) a few - very few, become intimate friends (this has nothing to do with sex)... these are people you strart to share intimate things about yourself and your life with.
You trust them explicitly and vice versa. They don't judge you, because they know you as a person and are truly your friend.
You will have if you are lucky 2 or 3 of these people in your life.
If you are even luckier.... one will be of the opposite sex and this may lead to a sexual relationship and then marriage.
These are the stages of relationships... and truthfully, if everyone followed these without thinking a friendship is created in 10 minutes or a week... or a committed sexual relationship is developed over a weekend or a month... there would not be as many divorces as there are.
Start by creating healthy boundaries and thinking about what kinds of friends you want. Then start hanging out and doing things people who you want to be your friends do.
Good Luck and God Bless.