Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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/ Loneliness Support Group

I Feel so Lonley

shylife9
shylife9

I have no friends. It has never bothered me before, but has started bothering me more as I have gotten older, I am now in my mid 20’s, and I have never felt so lonely.


I still live with my parents and Sister. We are quite a close family, and I am especially close with my Sister, however I feel unable to bring the subject up with them as I feel ashamed. We are quite a reserved family and my Mum especially, due to her lack in confidence, has always gone on about how no-body likes us as a family. I think subconsciously this has knocked my confidence trusting people and making friends, as I would hate to force myself on people.


I have a very busy lifestyle that I love and wouldnt change for the world, but doesn't leave me with much time, I am up at 6am and don’t get home until around 7.30pm, which hasn't helped with making/keeping friends as I feel I would constantly be having to put them second to my lifestyle. 


I also really struggle being myself around people I don't know. At home my close family would probably say I am loud and say I talk far too much, however I really struggle coming out my shell outside of my comfort zone and I often get told I am really quiet and I think this leaves me coming across weird and unapproachable.


Is there anyone else that is/was in a similar situation that has managed to overcome it?




Tired
Tired
I was extremely shy all my life. Therapy helped me some. First
individual then group and individual therapy.
Deo-Volente
Deo-Volente
I can empathise fully with your feelings of loneliness and being ashamed of sharing your feelings with others. Unfortunately I have not overcome it, although I am taking positive steps and am now in therapy. One bit of advice, and it may seem obvious, don't withdraw and isolate yourself. You say you are quiet and come across an unapproachable, isolating yourself will only exaggerate those characteristics thus making it harder. I am very unapproachable, I am told I come across as intimidating. I kind of get it and don't like it.

Are you in therapy? Or is that a possible option for you? It could be very beneficial, then again it doesn't work for everyone. You don't know until you have tried. Failing that it is all about exposure therapy. A series of short term goals, can be simply things like smiling and saying hello to a stranger, gradually expose yourself to being social with others and increase the difficulty of the goals you set yourself gradually and as you feel comfortable. No jumping in the deep end when you can't swim.

I am sure you are an amazing person and once you connect with people they will see that. Good luck with it, god bless.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I was extremely afraid of judgement but now I accept myself for the way I am.

I have learned to love myself by saying positive affirmations daily and am much less afraid of going places and meeting new people.

I have also learned that we are never alone. We have angels all around us just waiting for us to ask them for assistance. That have always answered.

God Bless
Scott46
Scott46
I agree with Deo. I would also try and open up a family conversation about why you all are isolated. Sounds like your parents are too. Here"s the thing. Someday, eventually, your parents will be gone and it will just be you and your sis. I lost my mom 10 years ago and my dad a few months ago. I have a few very good friends and I still feel lonely pretty often. Its is harder to make frineds as you get older. I suggest you work on this now. It will get harder the longer you wait..
shylife9
shylife9
Thank you for your replies. I found the courage to speak to my sister about feeling so lonely and she helped me bring this up with my parents. My Mum admitted that she has spent time in her life feeling the same way. I am also going to look into therapy.
I really appreciate your replies as they helped me to open up to my family about this.
abbyflowerr6
abbyflowerr6
I feel quite lonely as well, it’s nice to have a place where we can connect and feel less lonely.
SunnierDays
SunnierDays
Thanks for sharing everyone,

My family were always kind of home bodies, so this probably contributed to my ackward shyness growing up.

The ackward shyness also turned out to be full blown anxiety.

It took many years of small baby steps, including seeing a therapist before I got fed up with the loneliness and anxiety.

Today, I maintain a tiny social circle of a couple friends and acquaintances. I'm still not very social, but taking it in small incremental steps helps.

You have to first of all stop worrying about what others think of you. Easier said than done. But once you take that risk of reaching out to someone, it gets easier.
You will eventually realize that there may be some people who reject you, there are others who will want to be your friend.

It's worth the risk in my opinion if you are serious about beating this loneliness.
wvnyx
wvnyx
I agree with the above replies. Have you considered that you are an introvert? I read the Introvert, dear blogs. They also have a forum where you can connect with others. It’s nice to know that in your small world there is a bigger one where others experience the same and you can connect with them.
oregongirl22
oregongirl22
I am a very shy person, and sometimes it can be hard for me to open up to new people. I know it's easier said the done, but don't worry about what others think of you. I used to worry about what others thought of me, and I finally hit a point where I didn't care. Since then, it has made me so much happier and I don't try to be a certain way because I wanted to be accepted by others.
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