anyone??? please i really need to know what to do and someone elses perspective on it would really help

honestly, that is just like something I have actually done, and it didn't help anything. in fact, it sucked more because he rejected me there too. all you can do is say something and decide what you are willing to accept as his reply.

i am looking more to see if he is actually on there to meet people for things outside our marriage. im terrified to do it but i think i really need to know

That's a challenging question. The fact that you are not able to discuss openly the situation, already signifies issues. I think it is tempting to do that, but his response, whether yes or no, is not going to help you get the answers you seek about what he is doing, and in fact would only worsen things. If he says no, you'll never know why - if it was because he wasn't interested or because he is married and then if he finds out you did that it will show your lack of trust. If he says yes, then it's a different story but either way will bring pain. I'd explore within myself the reasons for not trusting him, and talk to him directly, if at all possible.

If you're really that interested in seeing if he would do it, find a very close friend whom you have complete trust in to join and report back to you.

I'd say you probably don't want to know the answer though. Your best bet is to hack the account and delete it. :)

More than likely he is going to meet robots and bait accounts placed there by the website admins to get people to subscribe.

I would discuss it with him. Have you looked at the account to see if there is anything there that you didn't know about him before? Talking with him about why he is there is a good way to approach it. Rather than accuse him of cheating and getting hurt and angry about it.

If he has one account, he probably has more. Be prepared for that at least.
I've already been in one relationship were they could not stop the constant drive to meet people over the internet, and it was so toxic I'd never get involved with anyone like that again. It's a form of addiction and unless you destroy the PC, or they admit it and get help, you are probably in for allot of pain.

I don't think it's a good idea. I think you are in enough pain already, don't you? I think it's time for you to sit down and try to decide some things...do you still love him? Do you trust him to be faithful and honest? If those answers are "yes", then you have to ask "Is there something lacking that makes him feel a need to fantasize about other women?" You can provide him with what he needs if you are willing....Marriage is a work in progress....it's never done....both people have to work hard at it, but it's fun work!

i'm sorry you're going through this.
as tempting as it might be to pose as another, i'm afraid you'll end up feeling worse and perhaps find out things you never realized were going through his head.

have you tried talking to him about it?
counseling may be the route to go.
i wish the best for you,
meadow

I would not be wrong. What he's doing is wrong.

But that's not the question, IMO. The question is, what do you need to do to find anwers and help yourself.

How did you find out that he joined a sex site?

Can you talk to him about this?

I would confront him after evidence and leave him. If he is doing this to you then he does not love you. You deserve better than this, and it may be hard to do at first but you will be happy in the end. Trust is everything and if he is doing this to you he has absolutely no repsect for you.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My bf did the same thing. I found out later he didn't actually do anything with it it was more of just an outlet to escape but it was still bad enough. Love to you.

I'm an Aussie so I'd say join, catch the bastard out and then dump him.

thanks everyone for your thoughts i am still struggling with what to do but i will figure it out

The fact he joined this site says everything. I agree with lovely's advice. Don't play games. Confont him. Good luck, you deserve someone who loves and respects you.

I don't know which website he joined, but if it is actually a site for dating or sex, there is no reason for him to join it except dating or sex.

You need to have an open conversation with him. It's not appropriate for a married person to be on one of these sites - even if he says he isn't doing anything. Looking for someone else is doing something.