Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I'm not even sure where to start with this one really.. I fell in love with my best friend and for a while after we had talked about it we seemed to be "going through a rough patch" as she said. Finally, in April things improved between us A LOT! Instead of me being miserable because we weren't together we both seemed to get way happier and more comfortable together just as friends. It was great! In fact, we were definitely getting closer, she seemed really into me..
Then one night while we were at a friends house things kept getting stranger and more awkward between us. Ever since that night things have just kinda gotten worse. The way she's behaving with me scares me because it seems a lot like she's trying to put more and more distance between us.
This happens every time I even have a small crush on someone, I always loose the friendship.. but I want that to change. This one was particularly special to me for so many reasons.
I used to be so shy that I could barely talk to anyone, let alone the girls I would have crushes on. I've kinda gotten over my shyness and can actually socialize but I still have trouble really getting close with anyone and its rare that I find someone I click with so well. She's been such a wonderful friend and we used to be really close, even just as friends.
Now things are so distant, she even tries pretty hard to not be alone with me anymore. The only thing I've done to make her feel uncomfortable alone with me is talk to her about all this and I stopped for a really long time but lately she's been the one to bring up our past issues and the fact that I'm still in love with her.
She, herself has always had issues with depression and shyness too so its rare for her as well to form such a close friendship with someone so easily. I know she had feelings for me once too but I kinda missed my chance with that.
Honestly, I really do want things to go back to normal. I even told her that and all she will say is give it time but it seems more and more like she's trying to put increasing distance between us. It definitely feels like she's trying to gently and nicely just end things with me.
Feelings or no, I really do miss her. I miss just being friends with her. I miss being able to go to the beach with her or watch TV or just plain talk for hours on pretty much anything. I even miss listening to her talk about her guy problems and giving her advice. It worked both ways too.. we would go to each other when we needed someone to talk to and we would just talk or try to cheer the other one up. Now when I try that it kind of works but she still seems distant and sort of like she's expecting things to be unhappy and uncomfortable between us.
My own feelings have actually even faded somewhat. I've never cared much for my own love life because its never really brought me any kind of happiness or comfort, its ALWAYS gotten me to feel more depressed and more lonely.
I really miss just hanging out with her.. does anyone have any suggestions? I know I might just be getting paranoid and making myself unhappy but every time I do hang out with her at all (even among other friends which is the only time she'll even spend any time with me now) she behaves all distant and strangely towards me. It scares.
Then one night while we were at a friends house things kept getting stranger and more awkward between us. Ever since that night things have just kinda gotten worse. The way she's behaving with me scares me because it seems a lot like she's trying to put more and more distance between us.
This happens every time I even have a small crush on someone, I always loose the friendship.. but I want that to change. This one was particularly special to me for so many reasons.
I used to be so shy that I could barely talk to anyone, let alone the girls I would have crushes on. I've kinda gotten over my shyness and can actually socialize but I still have trouble really getting close with anyone and its rare that I find someone I click with so well. She's been such a wonderful friend and we used to be really close, even just as friends.
Now things are so distant, she even tries pretty hard to not be alone with me anymore. The only thing I've done to make her feel uncomfortable alone with me is talk to her about all this and I stopped for a really long time but lately she's been the one to bring up our past issues and the fact that I'm still in love with her.
She, herself has always had issues with depression and shyness too so its rare for her as well to form such a close friendship with someone so easily. I know she had feelings for me once too but I kinda missed my chance with that.
Honestly, I really do want things to go back to normal. I even told her that and all she will say is give it time but it seems more and more like she's trying to put increasing distance between us. It definitely feels like she's trying to gently and nicely just end things with me.
Feelings or no, I really do miss her. I miss just being friends with her. I miss being able to go to the beach with her or watch TV or just plain talk for hours on pretty much anything. I even miss listening to her talk about her guy problems and giving her advice. It worked both ways too.. we would go to each other when we needed someone to talk to and we would just talk or try to cheer the other one up. Now when I try that it kind of works but she still seems distant and sort of like she's expecting things to be unhappy and uncomfortable between us.
My own feelings have actually even faded somewhat. I've never cared much for my own love life because its never really brought me any kind of happiness or comfort, its ALWAYS gotten me to feel more depressed and more lonely.
I really miss just hanging out with her.. does anyone have any suggestions? I know I might just be getting paranoid and making myself unhappy but every time I do hang out with her at all (even among other friends which is the only time she'll even spend any time with me now) she behaves all distant and strangely towards me. It scares.
you should fight for the life you want, but at the same time you gotta let things take its course. some of my friends i didn't talk to for a long time, but like a year later when we talk again we're closer than before. i missed them, but i am grateful for what grew out of it.
We've never fought or anything and I really do trust her, probably more than I trust most of my friends. It just scares me that she's putting so much distance between us so suddenly (and according to her it has nothing to do with a lot of the things I thought I did wrong, she didn't even notice)... Though now that I think about it, this has happened before with a childhood best friend of mine (though he was a guy). It did seem to strengthen our friendship quite a lot but he'll never even admit to that half-year that he just stopped talking to me all together.
I don't want my best friend to be in love with me. Our relationship is MUCH deeper than that (if we truly are best friends), our friendship is much more important than that.
As a woman with a male 'best friend', it would disappoint me if he started doing the 'guy thing'. It would also sadden me. It would make me uncomfortable.
Maybe a little time apart is a good thing. If you do get your friend back, let it be a close 'friendship'. Don't try to make it something she doesn't want from you. That puts her in a really difficult position.
Like I said, I did as she asked, I stopped talking about it and went an entire month just enjoying our friendship. Things improved a lot, everything was even better than it was before.. and then things exploded, if I'm to believe her than I still don't know what happened to make things change so suddenly.
I know as a fact that she once had feelings for me too (she and her ex told me.. though she now denies telling me) and those that know what I've been going through the past few months even believe that what might have made her shut down like this is that her feelings for me were coming back or something... but things changed so suddenly.. one day she wants to spend as much time with me as she can and the next she suddenly wants to get as far away from me as she can.
As if having to deal with the feeling of complete loneliness again weren't bad enough, now I have to deal with this.. this is why I actually try not to ever even have crushes on anyone and I could have avoided falling in love with her but I just felt so comfortable with her and I trusted her so much. I let myself believe my love life could change and I finally found something good, close and positive... Its especially bad that I fell for my best friend. I would usually come to her when I feel like this except I can't.. :(
I hate feeling like this and even worse, now I have the intense regret that I didn't at least try to heat things up with her like I really should have. I've had to deal with this feeling for as almost as long as I can remember but now its way worse... Its because of me that things are so unstable with her. Its because of my own doubt that instead of being happily together we're so distant, and I don't even know if its my fault that things are so distant now when just a little over a month ago it got to the point where she was asking me out!
Where there was once a nice bright smile, there seems to be just negative tension that to me just seems really unnecessary.. like there's so much extra baggage that really doesn't need to be there. We've sorted through everything already, we've agreed to just keep things close but only as friends... but we're barely even friends anymore and I'm scared it'll stay this way..
She's been such a positive part of my life up until now. I know from talking to her that there's a lot of really unnecessary negativity built up. Like there's a lot of weight on us that really shouldn't be there anymore. We've resolved everything and I've kind of run out of things I need to say about this to her.
I hate having to deal with my own loneliness again but if I have to to maintain this friendship than I will. My life is that much more bright and positive with her in it even if we're not together. She really is an amazing person and a really good friend. Right now, inspite of the feelings I might have for her I'm really just scared of loosing that close friendship that just a month ago was flourishing beautifully.
She strongly hinted that part of what made things change so suddenly was PMS but if that was it than its lasting a hell of a lot longer than normal.. Though last time she started acting this distant it was right around the same time of the month.. the thing about that was, that time it only lasted a few days and then things were back to better than normal.