I think long lasting friendships take almost as much work as a marriage does. You have to be willing to not judge the other in a negative way unless the friend asks for advice or a suggestion. You have to be willing to overlook little things and put the other one first.

My ex wife and I are friends....Oddly, we didn't learn how to communicate with each other until after we got divorced. I changed alot after I got sober and I began seeing others as the same as me no matter who they were or what they had done in life. That was huge!

~~~Peace~~~

I can relate.

A lot of what you say is true. Part of having a lot of friends is having a thick skin and not being easily offended. I have a family member who has an amazing network over a 100 people he periodically sees and calls. But he's not easily offended I recall a family event where someone said his brother could stay over and not him. Now having family members who are not so thick-skinned I braced for a big argument but it was no big deal.

A lot of it depends on whether you want many friends and are willing to be flexible enjoy what other people do and just enjoy being around people. Me I don't necessarily feel that way. So you make choices an I think you just try not to regret them. .

Honestly, I gave up. I tried doing that years ago. I would not get a reply. I would try to help other and be a good friend but I never was reciprocated. It just made me feel more lonely. I just stopped. It actually was a relief once I put my energy into something else to keep me busy. Guess what happens when you stop being the one to initiate with that friend...absolutely nothing...they forgot about you and that shows they were never a good friend to start.

I have a really hard time maintaining friendships. I have Bi-polar and when I’m fine the friendships are fine. But they don’t understand how I am when I’m not “fine” how if I don’t text back that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to them ever just means I’m in a dark space and I need someone to help lift me out if I can’t do it on my own. And I know that’s a lot to ask of a person , this is why I have not a friend in the world and it’s so hard and depressing, I wish you the best of luck.

Since I came back to NY I haven't had any real friends. My one girlfriend's husband had a bad accident and so I never seen her after that. She was with him all the time. I went to group meetings at my church but never felt like I fit in. Most were younger than me. And I did not like reading outloud. I only have my sister as a friend. And another friend who has been going through health problems for a yr now. I do go visit her now and then. She always seems tired so I don't stay long. I have a male friend but it's to soon for a relationship. He calls us special friends. I was going over to his place a lot but we had a fight last week and things are tense. Even tho he said he is getting better about getting over the fight. He has not invited me over. Being Monday today I knew it wouldn't happen today. Maybe tomorrow? I have no idea. I am a homebody more or less. Altho I do like going out to eat, seeing a movie going shopping. But I do these things mostly by myself. My sister had surgery and is in a boot so can't really go shopping much. I know in time she can go. I just feel lonely a lot.