Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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rhwhitmore2001 04/19/2017

M fiance and I of almost 9 years have grown apart because of the fighting and accusations, or assumptions and so much more. See, he's a Narcissistic Introvert with ADHD whose astrological sign is Leo (August 20th) and I'm an Empathic Extrovert with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety who is a Virgo right on the cusp, too (August 23rd)! We have a lot in common, but also just as much or more that we don't have in common. I think we need to sit down and really look at our differences and our similarities and re evaluate our relationship too, which includes where and how we want it to go and be in the future because I think we've lost sight of what we first wanted and first saw our lives being together.

I've noticed too that he's more of the type of person who keeps his feelings to himself in any and every situation, esp when it comes to his personal relationships, including those with his daughters. I'm more of a person that expresses my feelings verbally rather than body language or physically, i.e. angry outbursts. I'm more open minded and patient then he seems to be as well as I don't get frustrated as easily as he does or has at and with things and people. He seems to be more of a perfectionist then I am, but I'm more organized (or try to be) and I tend to try doing everything in order of importance. I'm not sure how he really is at work when it comes to this type of stuff, but at home or overall, he seems to be more angrier then I do at little imperfections in people and in himself. He tends to complain more than I do it seems about little things, including his own health issues. In other words I feel like I'm more of a positive person overall then he is when it comes to the important things. Though in recent weeks, since acquiring his promotion to manager of the vending division, he seems to be improving in many of these areas and becoming more like I remember him being when we first started dating 9 years ago.

The reason I'm writing this post is that I want to see what everyone else thinks if I should continue with this relationship or just completely give up and try to find someone else to fulfill my wants and needs fully. Though I feel I've put a ton of time into this one and I don't want to just give up all I've put into it to do it all over again. I'm tired of doing that and fighting for happiness and the perfect love, you know? I'm pretty sure there really isn't that 'perfect love' out there anyways, right? Can anyone help me figure this out, please? Thanks in advance.

bridgie101 04/19/2017

you are never going to find someone who fulfils your wants and needs fully any more than your other half is. Nobody was born to fulfil your wants and needs fully. They are there to fulfil theirs.

You don't seem very emotionally involved with this guy, other than to say that you are better than him. I imagine that makes him unhappy. I imagine, for instance, that he doesn't share his feelings because nobody shares feelings with someone who judges them and doesn't love them.

If this guy is as bad as you say he is, go ahead and leave if you want. But if you have any care for this guy I recommend you find yourself a counsellor and investigate this situation more thoroughly.

rhwhitmore2001 04/19/2017

Thank you for your reply, first of all. Secondly, I think I may not have completed my thought(s) on the first part you catch me on regarding the fully fulfilling my wants and needs....I wasn't thinking along the terms you think I mean(t). What I meant by them is that I was wanting to see if I should try to find someone else to fulfill them more then he does rather then stay and try to work things out like I have been trying to do for the last 5 or 6 years of our almost 9 year relationship. Thirdly, he knows that I love and care for him more then you seem to think he doesn't think I do. I say that because I have already stayed through a lot of his BS and have tried numerous things to get him to communicate with me like we used to. I don't judge him because I know he isn't perfect. If I thought he had to be perfect, I would've left a long time ago. We have discussed going to counseling, but nothing or very little has come of it, so, its obvious you don't seem to think outside the box and give more open minded feedback to people like me that post things like this in this type of forum. However, I appreciate your time in reading this and the original post. Thank you again. Good night and God Bless.

Cora_Belle 04/19/2017

I think anyone in a 9 year long engagement knows marriage in not in the picture and just doesn't want to expend the energy to find something better and/or more fitting.

rhwhitmore2001 04/20/2017

yeah to me marriage is just a legal document tying us together forever when if we really wanted to be together forever, we just make the commitment in our hearts and souls to each other forever. We don't really need a piece of paper to say we're married, we feel it within ourselves and that is enough for me at this point I think. I'm not sure what his take on it is right now though, so I guess I'll have to bring that up in a conversation at some point. I kind of feel we're married already, but I just don't feel the emotional intimacy is there like it used to be where we'd finish each others thoughts or sentences and I want something like that with him again and I don't know if we can or ever will get close to having that back and that is just so heartbreaking to me cause I really loved that in the beginning. It made me feel really wanted and loved and cared for. Now, it makes me feel like he doesn't want, care or love me as much as I did/still do to a point anymore. Makes me really sad and lonely and depressed when I think about it.

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