Hi. I am just stepping out and trying to make a lot of friends. I am, or at least can be a very social, outgoing person. I've been isolated due to circumstances (grew up in a cult, abusive family) more than anything else. We were pretty brainwashed that friendship with anyone other than God was bad, not sufficiently religious, and we were not worthy of it (or it was simply sinful--which, being a human being that rejecting and rejected, you grow up just feeling fundamentally unworthy). So it's habit for me to stay alone. Sometimes my social skills are real bad too, due to my abusive family situation, but I know that is something that will fade though it can be painful. Other times, they're really great, so. Anyways, I find that even though I am having some pretty good starting experiences, I still drag my feet quite a bit. Like, last night I went out and had some difficult but I would say mostly positive experiences. I had a lot of fun and met a lot of ppl. But I spent the whole afternoon in bed (as usual), depressed and fearful. I'm afraid, basically in this starting up of building a social life, of whether my sometimes extremely fragile self-esteem will be able to weather rejection. I know it could go either way, I could mean good friends and it go very well, and that fear might not come true. But it could also go real bad I suppose, at least at first. I know eventually I WILL make friends, if you just keep trying. I mean, there's a gazillion people. That doesn't mean it's not going to involve pain though, maybe a lot. :/ Isolation is a protection, I suppose. Any words of advice/encouragement/input? I REALLY want to make friends, I just, I react so badly if there's too much rejection. Like it becomes hard for me to function and stuff. :/