I think I know how you feel. I have a son that is 17. I'm going crazy just thinking what will I do once he leaves home. He is all I have. Maybe I'll get a dog or something.

I never had the blessing of having children....so I only know how being alone is when the only family is mom dad and sisters....but I do hear all kinds of people talking about children leaving home...the common thread is they do not know how to grow out of child care into just being a friend to those around them....it is hard I suppose...but not being parent all I know is that those around you also have loneliness too....so reach out...build a group of pass times that you can do when there is nobody around and if that is not enough join meetup.com and meet some new people who are wanting to be active in their lives....

My son is almost 24 and planning to leave home this year. I am scared because my husband and I separated last year. This is the first time I will live alone in many many years.

So I can relate.

You are not alone.

Hugs.

Even though my youngest is almost 16 and my oldest is almost 21 and they all live at home, I have become friends with my kids. Yeah, I'm still their parent but they are at ages when we can do so many more things together. I'm hoping that by having a close relationship with them now will lead to them coming home once a week. I know my kids have their heart set on living in the area, I just hope they can live that dream

I used to live in the same area as my kids, but moved 7 years ago to cottage country (1 and 1/2 hours), thought it would help my depression. It did for awhile, but I miss being near them. They both have been distant from me since the move and my continuing depression. Hope to move back once I get stronger. I've learned my lesson never to make life changing decisions when your depressed.

I am still there and my kids have been gone for about 7-8 years...now they are both married with sons of their own....their wives a good women and I have a good relationship with them...but I am lonely more often than not...Especially when hubby is at work.
I have tried to do things other than stay at the house but I come back and it still is empty.
I do have the dog but dogs don't talk like people do.
I try fb and this but nothing seems to work.
Hope it gets much better for you and soon.
ttfn

I guess that is a big transition. especially if you stayed home raising them and not worked outside the home. It's a good time to try some of those things you may have put on the back burner. Then you guys w kids, before you know it, you will be wrapped up with your grandkids.

I like u Bill, so it got lonely for me, when my friends got raising their families. I was busy working most of the time though so was pretty busy, and often had relationships. Now it's seems people my age are having empty nest and looking to reconnect w old friends and new ones.

Dardi, my kids are my whole life right now...and when they move out, I will be devastated...so I know where you are coming from. It's kind of a double-edged sword...you spend so much time raising your kids that there is no time to develop your own friendships. Then when the kids are gone, there are no friends to try about stay connected with.

The thing I think I will miss most when my kids leave is being able to be myself. With my kids, I can be silly, goofy, fun-loving, etc. Howver, when I'm around others, I keep a facade of seriousness that, I guess, maybe drives people away. Thus, when my kids leave, I'll miss not only them, but also my fun/goofy side.

there is www.meetup.com to get out and make new friends with....check into it....

Thanks for the kinds words and your stories.

I just found out that my son is planning to move out in July. Until then, I am kind of in a limbo. I have decided he can take whatever he wants, furniture, sheets etc... with him. He celebrated his 24 birthday last week and I am a little sentimental. This 8 pound round baby turned into 5'8 man is mind boggling. He is such a slob so it will be interesting what will happen when he moves out. I want to charge him for the mess he will leave but oh well!

Also I have decided to do an email fast for a week. Checking in and being disappointed of not having people reply is taking its toll. It has been only been a day but it so peaceful. My head and my emotions are much calmer. I am going to reward myself after the week is over.

Thank you for letting me share.

Koyu, the email fast is a great idea! I too get very disappointed when I don't get replies or personal emails. I might try that sometime. Thank you for sharing, I know it won't be the same without your son but hopefully you will find some joy in having raised an independent man.

I certainly can relate to how you feel. For me, the empty nest causes a deep heartache.some of the worst emotional pain I have ever had and I don't see an end to it. Both my sons are grown and have been out of the house for about 7-8 years. They are busy with their lives and their wives are number one in their life. I do understand that is the way it is supposed to be. I just feel unappreciated after all those years of making them the focus of my life. I feel forgotten and hardly thought about. DREADING Mother's Day. I will be alone that day. The one son who lives in town will be with his wife's family. The other son lives out of town. Dh will be at work so it will be a long day for me. Last year I was alone and cried buckets of tears. I try to focus on the fact that I did my best to raise them and should be proud they are independent. Would love to have a little TIME with them but their wives are now #1 in their lives. It hurts horribly. Makes me lonely and sad so I fight depression. I try to keep busy to get through the days. HUGS to all who feel the pain and loneliness of the empty nest!

Thank you POOhbear. It is day 2 or 3 on my email fast. It is so tempting but I am feeling much better for some reason. Also my goal was to raise my son to become independent and I should be proud of him but there is also a part of me that feels that he wants to leave because something is wrong with me.

Also khirsch. I understand. My son rarely says anything on Mothers Day. So I have decided to celebrate being a mother by myself. I may buy a small small cake.

Thank you.

I officially have been living alone since 2003. I had a few brushes with a few who were willing to stick around. But I had to end these toxic relationships. When they left I found piece of mind and spirit. I would like companionship but not at my mental health or economic expense. I just have to wait. My oldest has been gone since he was fourteen, but we communicate and my two teenagers are with their mom I divorced. I learnt what I want in a woman, benevolence is just a part not the whole. Hopefully we'll learn to appreciate this time and learn to find out who we are now and what we would like to engage in you what we don't want to engage in. It's a good time to reflect on self. And I am not down playing feeling lonely. I feel lonely as well.