I wish there was a cure I could tell you about. I feel your hurt in the content and the frequency of your posts. I suppose theres the obvious advice,. If you're looking for friends or a partner and you don't have a social circle, you need to meet them either at work, or getting out to an activity, hobby or looking online. I myself don't do that so I know it's one thing to suggest it, quite another to do it. I've been lonely for much of my adult life and I still am lonely so I don't really have answers. Some of my loneliness is self imposed because people have hurt me and I shut myself away. Is that the case with you? Loneliness is painful but I prefer how life is now compared to being with people I didn't feel at ease with.
I hope you'll soon find that true friend or companion.

If your depression is situational (rather than chronic organic depression), things can change once you change your situation.

And while it is true that you can not make others be good friends, you have the capability to be a good friend and also the ability to determine with whom to be friends.

Perhaps that is why you choose not to respond to my attempts to engage you.

Oh well...

I'm so sick of it. I'm trying to move into a mindset of acceptance but it's hard to stay there

Online chat buddies are ok but they DON'T fill the void of REAL LIFE FRIENDS that I can actually spend time with and do things with.

That's true Lilly, online friends don't replace real-life friends, but they can still be a valuable part of your support network. I have trouble meeting real-life friends as well, so I started going to the library, and I found out that there are "regulars" there. Now I'm a regular at the library too, and I talk to the people who are there on a regular basis. It's not quite a friendship yet, but it is companionship, and a step in the right direction. I picked the library because I like reading...You can pick a place to meet people based on your interest.

You may want to check out support groups. The National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) has free support groups all over the country and may very well have one in your area. Check out their website to find the closest group near you. https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI

It takes time to build friendships, but I'm confident in your ability to start taking small steps in doing so. Hang in there.

What are you doing to find real life friends?

https://medium.com/the-polymath-project/loneliness-is-not-about-being-alone-343d2be67643

You might want to read this article. Perhaps you might find some insights to your situation.

I'll be a friend to you if you want.

The Art of Making Friends.
1st Rule: Want to Be A Friend To Yourself.
2nd Rule: Be A Friend To Yourself
3rd Rule: Know that the Most Profound Relationship Ever in this Life will Be With Yourself.
4th Rule< Never Forget The Above Rules.

Lily, what are the things that you love most about yourself? I know there
are some good,really really good things , Now focus on these things instead of trying to Focus all your energy on Others wanting to be your friend.

If you look at the number of people in the world , in your country, in your state that you live in- Finding the friends is not the problem, The problem
is your self confidence.

So the focus should be on Yourself, When you start getting so into yourself-
mastering hobbies that you love,, or working on your physique,
mastering a certain look you want to have, learning a second language,
It boosts your confidence,
A wall falls down that is noticeable to others and people gravitate to
you off of your inward confidence,
You see lets say you make 2 new friends and the friendships dont last.
If you are not confident and self assured and able to be happy within yourself
even though friendships dissolve you will always go back to First Base.

Where You Want to Be:

You want to be mentally tough-
Start by Releasing the thoughts from inside your head that All is Ruined
and you cannot make Friends etc.

Instead release those thoughts into the Universe. Say I RELEASE these
feelings, the past traumas associated with all experiences in my life.
I am soooo lucky to have this day to build positive affirmations into my Inner
Being.
Negative thinking is a barrier that will always keep me out of reach with my
destiny.
Positive thinking brings me into Alignment with the Universe and I am protected and fulfilled as I patiently await my beautiful destiny that the Universe has planned.
All you have to do on your part is to stay in Sync with what I have stated
and Trust in the Highest form of Energy that the Universe used when creating
you and I --- Love.

Hugs Hugs Hugs,
Thank you so much for Sharing

SHARING HEALS **********SHARING HEALS ***********SHARING HEALS <3

Lilly 23, I do not know your story, but I've had a taste of it. Only child with abusive alcoholic father.

Only you know your situation at depth. Now I am going to ask you a serious question.

What would you tell your best friend to do in your situation?

.
.
.
Your answer could very well be the one that saves you.