I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time because of your break up. That is really sad and my heart goes out to you. You need to find some more activities to help distract you and fill the void you feel. You could try online chat rooms, or online games, like ones on Facebook or on something like addictinggames.com. You could try crafting, knitting, journaling, reorganizing your home. Something to keep you focused on the task at hand and not on your break up. I would be happy to talk to you online when I am on, but I don't really keep a normal schedule, so I'm not always on during specific times.

Thank you. It's just a nightmare. Long story short he had escalating mental problems, hadn't worked full time in 3 years, and not at all in a year and 3 months. We broke up Sunday.

I love him to death and I always will but I had to do what was right for me in the end. It's something I wrestled with for quite some time and just couldn't take care of him anymore.

I kept the apartment since he doesn't work and can't afford it...and now he hates me for it. His family said they would help him pay rent and stuff but it was just stupid and not fair so I said no way even though I feel guilty.

We talked on gmail every single day, all day long, since 2006. Now I have like nobody to talk to. I'm a receptionist and my job is really boring so I'm basically just farting around all day online.

Facebook and a lot of gaming sites are blocked...I'm trying to just read Fark and Wikipedia stuff. Thanks again for your support.

I admit that I can't exactly relate to the BF thing cause I'm officially SSB (single since birth). Nevertheless, I hear you.

Don't let yourself hit rock bottom because of his absence. This is not an end, this is a new beginning! If he's not the right fit, there sure is one out there, and you'll find him someday. Meanwhile, grab this opportunity to develop YOU. No BF, so what? (okay, I know there's an effect, but no use moping now, right?) Make things happen! Make yourself a better person! One day, he might even regret breaking up in the first place. Aim to be the person he'd regret leaving. No, aim higher! Aim to be the person YOU would regret leaving if you were your boyfriend.

You'll get through this. If you just want to talk, I'm here.

It's good that you did what is right for you. But since you say you "love him to death and I always will" can you still remain friends with the guy? Talking to him on a daily basis isn't the same as taking care of him, is it? When I break up with a guy it's the friendship that I miss and try very hard to keep. I am sorry you are both hurting and hopw you can find your way through this. Hugs

Thank you so much for the advice guys it means a lot to me and is very comforting. Today was pretty brutal. I thought about the breakup a lot and all the stuff that led up to it...and the aftermath and I just basically have been depressed and teary all day. When I got home from work I had a good cry and now I feel a little better.

Well basically what happened in a nutshell was he had growing mental problems and I was taking care of him and it just got to be too much for me to deal with. He wasn't working and I have a very strong work ethic and it was a constant source of tension between us. Plus I'm an insanely needy person and in the end we just weren't able to give each other what we needed as partners.

It's a VERY long, tragic story. The plan WAS for us to stay friends but then I decided to keep the apartment (and my sanity and my independence) and he decided that I was fucking him over so that's pretty much it for now. I hope in my heart that one day he'll forgive me for doing what I had to do and that we can be friends again but for right now the wounds are too raw.

Hang in there, break ups suck for both parties. Now you have time to find yourself and do what you like. Hopefully this would be good for him and get some help and self reliance. I would recommend joining a jym or exercise group. You live in Boston I'm sure you have a ton of them.

Thanks. I've been spending a lot of time with my parents and my friends and everyone is in my corner which is great. I thought his family was gonna hate me for this but even THEY are on my side in this and totally understand what I did. Everyone has their breaking point and we just reached ours.

I wish him the best and really think that I enabled him to be the way he was in a way. I learned a new term the other day that describes him to a T: Learned Helplessness. It describes what happened to him pretty well I think. My hope for him is to get stronger and healthier and be OK someday.

I used to work out on a regular basis but when we started having serious problems I stopped. I definitely plan on getting back into a workout routine ASAP.

Thanks again for the support. It means a lot to me.

Same thing happened to myself. Although it wasn't 9 years I was engaged to be married to my fiancee of 3 years. We broke it off 2 mouths before the wedding. It was mutual but still stings a bit. I'm here to talk whenever you want to.

Breakup's are horrible so I know exactly what you're going thru. Pretty much just got over my last girlfriend, which wasn't too difficult though since the relationship only last about a year. Time DOES heal all, and eventually you'll be able to handle it and not feel as lonely as the weeks go on. It's just getting over that initial period which really sucks... If you want to talk about anything my fb is in my profile. Take care.

Thank you guys. I went to therapy yesterday which was a doozy. Last Wednesday I had therapy as well...and the plan was for me to move back in with my parents. So basically yesterday marked the first week since the bad blood started with my bf and I. We'd broken up the Sunday before.

Last week I walked in there fully intending to move in with my parents against my will in the hopes that my bf and I would stay friends. But when I told my therapist what was going on he was like WTF if you do that you'll end up hating yourself, and him, and regretting it forever. And he was right.

So my therapist and I called my bf together and I told him I'd changed my mind and needed to keep the apartment and my sanity and he couldn't afford it anyway.

Long story short...last night I cried a lot and it sucked. I slept like shit and I'm exhausted. But I really need to focus on the fact that my bf was basically plotting to break up with me behind my back, get his disability, then "send me back to [my]parents".

Thanks again for the support.