Oh god this! yes I feel this way too, I struggle with not feeling good enough and it makes me feel so awfully lonely. I have the tendency to push people away as a defense, its an awful feeling when we we feel so desperately lonely... ugh!
but I hear you and understand

I know how you feel,. People assume that if you are down or lonely you need advice - most of them go on about making friends and going out and mixing, joining groups etc, or go and do charity or voluntary work. What gets me about that it is that it not always appropriate for each person they speak to, or the person cannot do it or they are too busy or there is some other obstacle stopping them if it would be a good idea otherwise. It never occurs to these people that your problem is being unhappy not being too stupid to work things out or think of things.

I know a woman who is well known and has been on television and radio many times, she has had books published, she owns a lot of successful businesses, her time is valuable and she is used to making big decisions, yet when she was feeling down and rang a crisis line they spoke to her as if she was some unemployed nobody who sat around doing nothing all day.
They said ah but if you go and do this you might meet other people and they might become friends.

As it was one of the things that kept her busy was running a large charity single handedly, so she was hardly going to apply to a charity in the hope of taking orders from someone with less experience and qualifications than her.

And the idea that she would make friends there ws ridiculous. The people would have immediately worked out who she is and as always nagged her for money or told her how lucky she is she has more than them - even though its nothing to do with luck and its down to working very hard.
She would have nothng at all in common with such people.

Pushing people away is because you reject them before they have a chance to reject you. It worries you that you need a friend so much and it would hurt you so much if they let you down or hurt you, so you do it first. Obvious.

Ive not been here long but most of the posts are from very young people who just moan and groan, it is easy to see why they are unhappy and never will be, it is their own fault. But some people have something special about them, they are more proactive and more capable so they rise up above that lot. You can do that if you want to but there is no rush, its up to you how when where and what and who with.

Dont let anyone make your decisions for you.

I have a precious day where I am not working - I work far longer hours than most - my choice - I never let life just happen to me - so today I am going to watch a box set. I dont need advice or permission.

Hope you feel better soon and drop me a private mesage if you want.

If your friends wont listen and are not interested stop calling them friends - a real friend would care more.

I am sorry you are struggling so. I hear your pain. Life has been very mean to me lately in that people are saying such hateful things, such bullying things and people don't seem to want friendships except those people who refuse to follow precautions. What I am doing right now is to journal my feelings every day. Lean into how I feel and write it down, pen to paper. This helps me let go of my overwhelming feelings and come back to center. I understand far more than I want to write on here. This is said to be support, not advice: I also worry that you may have depression that isn't being treated, hence the crying. I don't know you but please consider this. If we were friends and you called me saying what you have said here, I would talk depression and my support for you getting what you need to feel better. The pandemic is proving very stressful and difficult for probably everyone. Even good friends seem to have something going on that makes them super stressed and not able to focus on others. Please be your own priority right now because your emotional wellness depends on it. You have value and worth in this world. I hope you can start to believe it. Hugs to you.

All i want is a good friend. That is all.

I struggle with these same things....I am here for you. I'm terribly sorry about your break up too. All I can say is that it seems sometimes we are not aligned in the right place where we need to be (where people reciprocate and where we truly belong). You certainly matter and are not less than anyone. I just want you to know I get it -I'm sitting here crying too....just know someone out there knows what you speak of and is at this moment thinking of you.

For the reply that said young people are on here moaning and groaning -maybe I'm so new here (have taken a long break) that I'm missing something but I certainly hope that we don't discount what anyone is saying.

I tried to message my friend to let her know that it hurt me when she said she couldn’t be there. She read the message and didn’t bother to reply.

Good friends are hard to find, takes years to develop and it hurts more when they leave us.
We all need good friends that will listen and just let us vent from time to time. Being able to talk, be honest and love ourselves is so important. Its hard to trust people once we turn the trust off. It feels even harder to turn the trust back on, to talk to others.
Sites like this are great, help you get focus on yourself and learn how to listen to your needs and feelings.
Continue to keep a journal, praying and loving yourself for all that you are, and you are worth it.

I am crying as I read this. It is insane how in a world with so many fucking people, most of us feel so utterly alone. I constantly have the exact feelings you are describing. It feels terrible to know that somewhere in the world, we are both feeling the same things, alone and worthless, when really there are so many who feel the same way. Friends are so hard to find. People who not only understand mental illness but accept it. People who look past your trauma and don't take advantage of you. I just sent you a friend request. PLEASE reach out any time. any time at all that you feel alone. I'm probably feeling the same and it would be nice to have someone.

You will go through bad times, just remain focused on your goals.