sorry hugs you have a hard job as single mom...

You are correct in that being alone and feeling lonely are two completely different feelings. I am alone a lot but don't feel lonely and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I do have such wonderful friends and I don't mean face to face friends, although I do have two who are important to me. I also have my dog Anny who keeps me on my toes even for being 13 years old. And of course I am taking care of my mother which there is no way I could feel lonely with her having me jump hoops each day. I will try to find some good quotes that might help. Give me a little bit of time to gather them together. Hugs

This is my 4th try to send a reply to you.
I want to suggest your local community church. perhaps they have group/s geared towards single moms, as my church does. It may be helpful for you to meet some other moms in the same boat.

Loneliness is so different to just being alone, there are times where you can enjoy your own company if you are in the right place. You have taken the first step in joining this group, discussing how you feel and sharing the feelings you have. I think that a lot of people don't know how to react to people who are lonely or depressed and tend to surround themselves with like minded people, it is hard, i have lost virtually all of my friends past few years, due to possible Bipolar and sometimes all I want is just a text or a message.

Do you have any help with child minding? If so you could consider an evening class, broaden your horizons, learn something new and meet people, Or even advertise locally to start a coffee morning for single Mums?

The hardest part is taking the first step towards change, I know that once you feel this way it can get hard to leave the house and so the problem further develops, so just grab a piece of paper and jot down a few ideas of what you could try?

Anytime you want to talk, just drop me a line.

Best Wishes
Paul

How about some new interests-new hobbies and or new crafts? You will meet others with the same interests.
I would suggest volunteer work-but ofcourse you would have to schedule that when your kids are in school etc

Staying busy was key for me after the divorce. It could be simple things like cleaning house or going for a drive.

God is always there to pick each time you fall. He's always there with a word of comfort in the midst of the storm. Trust God dreamsoft :) hugs, Brilliant Light

I am always alone but don't feel lonely. I enjoy keeping myself company.
Find things to do that make you feel good. You don't need other people
to feel good.

I exercise a lot and take pretty pictures. The exercise pumps feel-good endorphins into my brain and makes my body strong so I feel enriched from within. I get myself so busy I don't have time to think about it. Anyway, I'm never that alone OR lonely. There's always some unemployed underemployed alcoholic who wants to hang out with me! Whether those relationships are HEALTHY is debatable, but I have relationships!

Why do you feel so alienated from your kids? Generation gap or just don't take any joy from their thought-processes or activities?

Unemployed OR underemployed I meant.

Hi Dreamsoftomorrow,

I am sorry for what you are going through. You have much support here. First, let me reply to your comment about alone versus loneliness. I agree with you that they are not the same thing. Not everyone can turn being alone into solitude and thats where the loneliness comes in. Some people truly prefer/enjoy being alone. They engage in activities by themselves, travel (long or short distances) by themselves, etc. and have a great time. I am not one of them. I am alone by design not choice, so like you, I often feel lonely. I know what you mean about your friends. It is difficult to maintain active/meaningful friendships with people who are not in the same situation. They are busy with their lives. Its a sad and unfortunate truth. I have to initiate communication 90% of the time and their reply is usually brief. There are promises to keep in touch but they rarely do. It wasnt easy but I learned to accept it over time.

I am happy that you have your sons. It is a different relationship than having a significant other or adult friends, but they are the most important people in your life and nothing can replace that. It is good that there are some things you still enjoy doing (watching a movie, walking, music). I know they do not fill the loneliness gap but they are better than nothing. For those of us who do not choose to be alone, we will always desire to fill that void. Occasionally, I go out and do something by myself (dinner/lunch, movie, outdoor concert, drive to a lake to read/relax, long drive, etc.). I make every effort to focus on the activity and less on the fact that I am by myself. I enjoy the moment but will admit that I still feel the pang of emptiness especially when I see all of the couples or families around me. The worst part is that there is no one to talk to in the moment, but again, I try very hard to focus on the activity and the inherent things that make it enjoyable.

I do not know what things you have tried in the past that did not work, so its difficult for me to comment on that statement. I will suggest that you do not give up but keep thinking of new and different things you believe would interest you and if you can fit them into your schedule, then try them. There is also the option of meet-up groups as a way of meeting new people. I have seen a variety of them listed on the web and actually considered joining/attending one where the people share a similar interest (photography, brunch/dinner/happy hour at a local pub (love dining out)). It is difficult to meet new people these days, so I am hoping this will work.

I applaud you as a single parent and admire that you still dream of tomorrow despite your current hardship. We are here for you!