Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
My drunken, lowlife mom was like something out of a creepy horror movie, though, together with my drunken, lowlife father, they were like something out of "who's afraid of virginia wolfe" meets "long days journey into night."
my psychotic, mom made sure to bad mouth me to others---she'd say as much, like a bully. I didnt take a drink or try drugs till age 21, so the lowlifes she, and my idiot dad, would bad moutth me to probably thought they were both crazy.
my parents also gave money, and my stuff away, so i, their only kid, did without, while people with lots of friends and family became better off.
in november 2001, my mom, after buying lottery tickets, got hit by a car, taken to a hospital 25 miles away...me with no transportation, not used to talking on phone, not used to talking to people, nobody i could turn to for advice...I was only person to visit her in the hospital, though I had to take 2 buses to do so, and okayed operations over the phone; she died in the hospital after 2 months.
I had a lot of guilt, for # years, over okaying operations for my mom, though in last few years, thanks to internet opening my world, I've realized it was the best I could do, with the little i was given over the decades.
my psychotic, mom made sure to bad mouth me to others---she'd say as much, like a bully. I didnt take a drink or try drugs till age 21, so the lowlifes she, and my idiot dad, would bad moutth me to probably thought they were both crazy.
my parents also gave money, and my stuff away, so i, their only kid, did without, while people with lots of friends and family became better off.
in november 2001, my mom, after buying lottery tickets, got hit by a car, taken to a hospital 25 miles away...me with no transportation, not used to talking on phone, not used to talking to people, nobody i could turn to for advice...I was only person to visit her in the hospital, though I had to take 2 buses to do so, and okayed operations over the phone; she died in the hospital after 2 months.
I had a lot of guilt, for # years, over okaying operations for my mom, though in last few years, thanks to internet opening my world, I've realized it was the best I could do, with the little i was given over the decades.
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A tree outside where I live is dying, seemingly from dog urine----with the bully in my building going out his way to not only have his dog urinate there but to have the dog urinate on the fence and sign I bought to try save the tree----and then slide the sign under my apt door.Turns out that was a TRIGGER for me----bullying and humialtion right out of high school. I didn't realize it at the...
it took me, decades, to realize that my parents controlled me through lots of guilt; i shut my brain off for decades in order to deal with lots of bad stuff.
thanks again; hoping you have a ncie week.
But you're here and many of us here do understand.
Hugs
(i'm trying to reduce my internet addiction; have to hook up my living room computer tower to short phone outet in bedroom every morning to respond)
away from them as soon as I could. Don't feel guilty about helping
your mom, you did the best thing you could do. I know how things
that happened in childhood can stay with you for a lifetime. I hope
you can overcome some of the past memories and find some peace.
Big Hugs
if i would have been less beaten down, mentally and physically, i would have gotten as far away from my parents at age 18...probably mental illness i inherited from an uncle who died in the loonie bin, and a slightly crooked back that people would make fun of, added to my reclusiveness, and being unable to think straight.
hoping you get through thanksgiving ok ("have a good thanksgiving" just doesnt sound right for this group)
It's sad that you never had loving parents, but you can either learn from that experience as to how NOT to be, or be just like they were. Judging from your writing, you're obviously a very well-spoken and compassionate person. I think you turned out just fine all things considered!
i shrugged off almost everything that happened to me, for decades; only in my olde age to figure things out, along with self-educating myself, since i never graduated high school, and my envious, cheapskate, crazy, dad looked down on college.
I have...existed...this long; maybe one day to live, and i have survived # people who wished me bad.
thanks, again, for your kind words