Hello everyone. It's me again. First of all I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who helped me feel better the last time I was here. I have been bisy around the baby and did not have much time to write. Yet , here I am again feeling a little low. My husband is making me a little angry and sad. I can't understand him. He says to the baby all the time that he loves her, yet since she is born he sleeps in the other room, gets nervous when she starts crying while he is watching tv, makes his own meal and eats all by himself, although I took care of everything, does not want to take a walk with me and the baby... All those things are really confusing for me. In a way he lives his own life. I can't say that he does not help me from time to time, but I honestly dont know what to think. I don't have any real friends to talk to. Am I thirsty for attention, or do I want too much, or he needs his own space...Honestly , sometimes everything is coming way too much for me. I love my little girl so much and I don't want her to live like I did with fear of her father like I was. With a hole inside, that never truly heals. I was never close with my father, because he was an alcoholic, yet when he died suddenly I felt a lot guilty for not being there for him. Anyway, that's completely different chapter, that I do not want to go back to. I just want my little girl to grow happy.I don't want her to feel alone in this damn world like me.I have no one to talk to and keep everything inside me, sometimes I cry a little when everyone's a sleep because I worry that my life will fall apart.I have been alone all my life and it was fine , until everything changed now that I have my own family...I feel lost again.