Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
A few years ago I had suffered from some self esteem problems and this partly led to the dissolution of my marriage. at a local church I picked up a copy of Dennis Thurman's The Lies We Believe. You can read some of it at http://books.google.com/books?id=TmZxU0OzkrAC&printsec=frontcover&dq=lies+we+believe&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Y-5dUunYEYO4rQHFkIHYCw&ved=0CDwQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=lies%20we%20believe&f=false
I read it and realized there were probably a few lies in there I believed, so I read it. "It's easier to avoid problems than confront them" Yep, I believe that and i avoided problems in my marriage thinking the problems would just fix themselves. nah! "People are Basically Good" yeah, to some extent I believed that because I had to live up to other's expectations without taking care of my own. What I did, though, with some of these questions is ask myself why I believed them. After digging around in my head and going back in my past getting past high school, I came to a point where I discovered that i felt bad about myself due to being born so late and having siblings so much older than me. there were hidden assumptions I made that I had to figure out. That's the point of this book
anyway, I mention the book because it may make a difference to somebody else. We all make some hidden assumptions beneath our subconscious awareness that determines what we do and suffer because of it.
I read it and realized there were probably a few lies in there I believed, so I read it. "It's easier to avoid problems than confront them" Yep, I believe that and i avoided problems in my marriage thinking the problems would just fix themselves. nah! "People are Basically Good" yeah, to some extent I believed that because I had to live up to other's expectations without taking care of my own. What I did, though, with some of these questions is ask myself why I believed them. After digging around in my head and going back in my past getting past high school, I came to a point where I discovered that i felt bad about myself due to being born so late and having siblings so much older than me. there were hidden assumptions I made that I had to figure out. That's the point of this book
anyway, I mention the book because it may make a difference to somebody else. We all make some hidden assumptions beneath our subconscious awareness that determines what we do and suffer because of it.
Thank you for sharing the link, Jeff. :)
I'm glad I read it because I haven't read a psychology book in a while and it was an easy read. Thanks for the suggestion.
The part that stood out the most for me was the perfectionist lie.
"I must be perfect."
My self-talk is kind and encouraging, so I don't think at a conscious level I embrace that lie, but I think I'm judgmental of myself on a more subconscious level.
The book didn't address this possibility (it only addresses self-talk), but it did give me something to think about.
I wish instead of "lies" versus "truth" he had used the words "disempowering" versus "empowering" thoughts. Not as catchy, but I think more accurate.
I thought it was inaccurate to say-- here is the "truth" of life especially when he was talking about his religious beliefs. There are huge disagreements on religion, so for him to talk about his religion for a good part of the book was not appealing.
I do realize you picked up this book at a church and it would fit in that context.