Not all nice guys are flakes.. Now I will go and hide in a corner. :(

I'm sorry, I wasnt being very nice :( I didnt meant to hurt your feelings, Forever....tc!

We all need to unload sometimes and this is the best place to do it, I have had my own negative experiences with men so I am not objective at all.

What is nice about a flake, and why are you attracted to flakes?
And why even dare spend any time with a jerk-wad?

Seems like you've created a false dichotomy for yourself. It's no wonder you are frustrated. But the good news is that there are way more different attributes in people besides those two. Some people are flakey in some ways but not in other ways. You could say the same about any attribute of a person.

If at first you go south and get burned, and then react going north and get burned; it's time to try a totally new direction such as east, west, or up or down. And if that doesn't work, maybe it's time to reconsider what your destination is. That way you can change your actions and demeanor to better attract or attain better social matches.

Sorry to be harsh if I was, but it's best to be honest about this stuff to save people the frustration.

When your favorite or only tool is a hammer, every problem starts looking like a nail that needs banging. It's a conflict we all have sooner or later. Diversify your approach as well as the environment that you choose to be in and the possibilities open up.

I've heard it from both men and women, "sometimes people are attracted to those who are not available--this makes them repelled by those who are available to them". It sucks, but it happens. Some guys even say the way to get a gal is to stay just out of reach or to seem uninterested and like it's doing a special favor just to be with the gal for a moment. I think this is manipulative and dysfunctional, but I've seen it happen firsthand. I think some of it is a direct result of gender acculturation and inherent sexism of society.

But what I think doesn't matter. People do what they do. People smoke cigarettes, women chase jerks at times, guys are jerks at times, politicians lie, innocent people die in wars, corporations make stuff that is known to cause cancer, etc etc.

The trick is to find your own niche and be true to yourself no matter what the others around you do or think. This will help you hone in on who and what you like and filter out the rest without getting frustrated or jaded. If you "know what you want" then you'll be more likely to get it if you tr

y. Part if knowing what you want is being realistic about what is currently available from the resources at hand. Not overestimating or underestimating and also being aware that often there's not enough info to even know or judge.

Yes, I agree with you Mudd Pudd, we seem to behave as the animals we are, women like conquerers, someone who will go out and bring home the treasure or the Ted Bundy's who they think they can change to be a "nice" guy to them. It's really ashame how nice guys like me finish last, of course that's the problem we are too nice. I hear women say they want respect, but when I respect them, they don't respect me. Happened with my ex, I respected her, but received no respect in return. It just seems most women don't know what they want, or what they say they want isn't what they're attracted to. The only time women seem to like me as "nice" and respectful is at school or in the workplace as a "friend" but when it comes to romance, they want the macho warrior. I've even heard of women wanting "nice" men, then later getting "bored" with the niceness. I met one woman who wanted someone "humble" because of what she had experienced in Rwanda, but it didn't last long enough to find out whether she would've stayed, in fact I think it was the niceness that drove her off since I talked about home ( Rwanda) and she didn't want to be reminded of it I presume.

If you feel that way, then please be nice to a nice guy :)

Thanks everyone, I have been thinking about what I want in life and in a relationship....I know I have been trying the same ways to find the same type of guys, and that's not going to work. I appreicate your honest, help, and kindness. :)

Wow! LOL.

Wow, feeling kind of cold huh?
I'm a nice guy, but that doesn't meen I'm a flake. I enjoy all aspects of life and I'm always there for my friends and relationships.
I hope you can look through the glass as half-full rather than half-empty.
Sorry you feel the way you do. Hold on there things will be ok.