Hi there i feel for you but your ex obviously a nasty person to say those things to you. Iv had that before and it does come into my mind sometimes. I try to be positive and have started a support group which really helped me.

I would advice you to look into support groups in your area and try to do at least one positive thing each day.

What is your disability?
Do your drink or take drugs?

I don't have any advice, just a few words of encouragement to not give up. I myself have had my share of sad lonely birthdays, so happy birthday to you. Here in this group we know how it feels and care.

Debs, my disability is an auto immune disability called Myasthenia Gravis. It makes me weak a lot, I have to rest quite often. There are days I can barely get out of bed, there are days I need a walker to get around, and then there are days where I function at around 40% of what I used to be able to before getting sick. I'm on disability for it, which I have been for almost 9 years now. I've been on meds, and treated, but most don't work, and the ones that do don't do enough to take me back to normal. In the recent months, my doctors have all but given up on me, as my body is a minefield of side effects with the medications. I was told, if you can manage without them, then stay that way. It isn't worth it. I can't manage, as why I go to them, but yay for my wonderful immune system.

I don't drink or do any drugs, I feel keeping a clean body is the best chance I got to stay functional for as long as possible. And also, while my ex was a nasty person, part of what she said has remained true since. I'm great with people until they find out there is something wrong with me. Then it is to the high hills they go.

I've tried avoiding the question, and they get upset, I'm upfront and I don't even get a conversation, and if I wait until they ask, I might get a night or two of talking to someone new. It's screwed up, and it hurts me inside to feel so rejected by society. I'm a wonderful guy.

I go out of my way for my friends and family, I push myself harder then I should for them too. I listen, supportive, genuinely care about people's problems. I don't know what more anyone could want. All I know, is that being lonely for another year, it just brings tears to my eyes. It hurts knowing that I'm not worthy.

I look at things in the "whole picture" so I don't focus totally on here and now. I was married and my husband beat the crap out of me. I eventually divorced him. That marriage and divorce was very difficult. I lost the home we had together, and even though we dated for 2 years prior to marriage (I refused to live with him), I had never dreamed I would end up with an abuser.

Years after the divorce, I was able to begin to date again. Fast forward and I'm disabled in an electric scooter. I'm 60 years old, a female never to be mistaken for J-Lo or a hottie but I finally have my own place and I have so much peace in my life and I'm okay with me and it's a good feeling.

I had a man in Target a while back ask me something about the product I was looking at and I responded with a funny response and we both laughed so hard. He was about my age, nice looking, he said he'd like to go to the Starbucks Cafe in Target and buy me something to drink and eat because he'd really like to get to know me as he loved my sense of humor. It sort of took me back a bit and I thanked him, but said no thanks and was on my way.

I had a male friend that would like to be more ask me to coffee and I explained we would only go as friends to talk and we did and we laughed and had a lot of fun.

I had a man in the supermarket inhale as I passed by tell me "ah, your perfume" and start to talk to me. We laughed as I told him about my cat The Boss and I scootered away and thanked him for the conversation.

I enjoyed talking to all of these men and I think they were very nice. I believe I could have potentially dated all of them, but I really didn't want to.

I'm actually happy with the way things are now and my life, but I realize that could change in a month, 6 months, a year or longer. People constantly change. I consider myself very lucky to have a place of my own, and have the peace and happiness that I have. When I fell, I was paralyzed in the hospital from the chest all the way down for 3 days and I was blessed that it lifted, but it left me disabled with some problems walking, I couldn't work any more and my life changed. I now have a whole new perspective on my life, being grateful and leaving my future open for what I want.

I love my electric scooter and it is my legs and absolutely the best thing ever. And don't let people talk about your disability as if you are "less than."

I've met some great people with varied disabilities, from paralysis to migraines, to MS, to all sorts of things What I love about them is their determination and drive to keep going.

There are so many other women out there that are really good people. Don't judge by the few bad ones that you have been involved with. Get back on those dating boards and keep talking. Don't give up. Always remember that you're worth it to keep going.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm shocked that anyone said that to you - it doesn't ring true to me - after all, it truly is what is at the heart of the person that matters, not their ability or inability so to speak. My husband has Asperger's, and while that poses quite a few challenges for him and the way people view him, I've never met a more kind, caring, and humorous man. I love him for all that he is inside and not how he appears to others. Just because you can't physically keep up, is no reason for anyone to overlook you - you are obviously smart, kind, and funny, and I believe someone will appreciate that, and that your ex, has some major issues of her own to work through for saying what she said to you. Anyway, just hoping to encourage you to look a little deeper and know that you can be confident in who you are inside, and what you are able to achieve despite the illness - the determination you show is admirable all by itself. Don't let your illness define you.

Tesinato, I understand your feelings of being lonely because I, too, am there. I, too, notice that it seems I'm always the odd one out and feel like everyone else has someone. However, I cannot allow myself to dwell on this issue. I turn towards my pets, my hobbies, etc. I've all but given up on having someone in my life. Although, I leave that up to God. We DO have a purpose. You may not realize what an impact you have on a friend. You sound so intelligent and loving. Your condition has nothing to do with who you are. I hope you feel better now. I know these downs will turn into ups eventually. Hang in there..... :)

Thanks guys. It is hard yes, but maybe I need to follow in the advice of astimegoesby a little here. Maybe it is just me that is unhappy with myself, for my shortcomings. How did you overcome it? I'm really embarrassed to be seen in a wheelchair, or with a walker. I feel so small and honestly, like I've failed. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do, especially out in public. I normally just avoid going out if I need one or the other.

Pooh, you are a testament of the good quality of people that do exist out in this world. I have a friend that has that, and like me, no one wants to even be around him most of the time. My core group of friends will hang out with him on occasion, but he never seems to be included in small things. It's a bit odd. But to the point, I'm glad you stick by him, and you are there for him. You seem like a wonderful person, and you give me hope that one day, I might find someone who isn't as judgmental as those before today.

And thank you Gina, as well for your encouraging words. I often consider giving up, and just letting what will be, be. It is hard for me to let go of the control sometimes. I realize I can't force love, or force someone to like me, but it would be nice to actually feel liked to a degree. I think I'm a bit too smart sometimes, because I sit and wind up analyzing myself into this mess. Not sure why I do it, but I do.

Thanks for the support and help. It was really nice to hear such things from everyone, and it honestly has made me feel a little better about everything. It doesn't feel so overwhelmingly bad now, and maybe there is hope for me yet. So push on I will, and continue this fight I shall. I deserve to be happy, and I know, someday, I'll find it. :)