" Makes me want to get into destruction. " Scary remark to make. Do you say things like this to other people? To women around you? I seen your profile and wondering if you have a healthy grip on your struggles and issues. Are you seeing a therapist or taking medication? I am not trying to offend you or be rude. Your statement in this post does stand out and can be uncomfortable to people, including women.

Well. They have made me sometimes suicidal uncomfortable for 35 years. I never got the opportunity to make them be careful in what theyhsI'd. In fact they use words to hurt people like me.

People are behaving badly everywhere. Having to endure abrasive
people to keep a job, to have somewhere to live, because you're a minor - regardless of the circumstances, most everyone has to deal
with rude, pushy people, sometime. If it's just words, and you aren't in a situation to convey your disgust, or walk away, all you can do is tune them out. People who try to hurt you with what they say -- you have the power to not care what they say or think. If what you're dealing with is bullying or ganging up, find someone and let
them know that it needs to stop. Mentally ill crowd/group behavior is more than any individual can/should deal with.

Don't do anything to make your life worse. I am sorry for whatever you've endured, especially when you were just a little guy. Find a healthy escape from all the emotional pain. This is definitely a situation to get help with - you're convincing yourself that violence is justified. That's not true. Don't entertain these thoughts another
minute. See a therapist ASAP.
=================================================
When someone is mean to me, I just make them a victim in my next book. Mary Higgins Clark

Thank you for that lady comment. Before I made the comment in the first place I was feeling first lonely then second angry. Before I got to the point that I was going to react I felt I had better express it to someone to take the power out of the emotion. That's the only reason Ipposted it at all. I could have called someone I know from recovery but the program teaches you to stuff your feelings rather than express them since it is really a state sponsored fascist organization. It is not easy to find a place where people will handle negative feelings responsibly and lovingly. That all ended after Reagan took office . What I see in society nowadays is this major trend towards FALSE POSITIVELY. You can't tell it like it is when it hurts. You are forced to lie about your own pain and tell everyone things are fine even when the bottom is falling out. It may seem to some like progress in cognitive psychology, but the truth in the matter is that it is very emotionally unhealthy to stuff painful emotions
. And by the way, the destruction thoughts I was dealing with were not thoughts of hurting others but rather thoughts of punching holes in themwaills of my apartment because society forces me to stuff rather than be honest as previously explained. So therefore the primary purpose of the whole post was expressing myself honestly but in a way that would keep me from becoming homeless, which would be worse. So I hope that she's some light into my core rationality without misintetpreting my words and jumping to the gun assuming I was talking about violence which I certainly wasn't.

I do have one more concept that I would like to talk about here also and that is the face of contemporary feminism. I will be the first personto agree with the idea that women have been sorely mistreated pretty much throughout history. Granted. But nowadays especially on the internet the links you can click on are all either openly right wing and therefore corporate controlled propaganda or they are feminist liberal which are all pretty much putting forth the idea that all men are bad people because they respond to the testosterone in their systems. But this Is really a poem of male bashing whose primary objective is not so much to lift women up in society but is rather really in place to keep men suppressed for the sake of maintenance of the status quo with regards to keeping men down on themselves and taking away their potential from using their testosterone and their intellects to unite to do some reAl justice in the world to bring back fair play to government including egalitarianism to a reasonable extent which means more small businesses among other things and to disable the multinational control of our individual lives which is surely going on almost worldwide currently and prevent a global economic collapse which is a very real possibility

While reading Pinterest's very good reply, I recalled : on DS/L we listen to each other's problems and sadness states/

and we also talk over how to watch out for the in this world. Insight and practice helps us spot those un's.

Can you share with us why you have been treated so unkindly by the opposite sex? What do you mean when you say you want to get into destruction? Are you talking about self destruction or destruction towards others? That is a very important question I need to ask you. I hope you will answer it. You are not alone here and there are many people that are willing to help you through the hard times you are obviously facing. Hugs GB