Facebook and online dating sites will kill any self confidence you may have left. I too have tried these sites only to end up feeling worse than I did before I joined them. I'll stay away for some time but because of where I live I'll give them another try only to be disappointed again and again. I do think that unless you are super good looking or can write one hell of a profile you'll never get anywhere on them. There are too many guys on there and the women are too picky and for some it's an ego boost to have so many messages that I think they actually become uninterested in finding someone because they hate to give up the attention they are getting. Just know you are not the only one that is mentally exhausted as well.

I agree with the puppy these sites are useless unless you have a big ego and a cold heart. Anyone who is the least bit sensitive need not apply.

Peaceful Greetings Kook,

My compassion and prayers are going out to you on the battle with depression and low self-esteem. I struggle with these as well.

As I read your words though, some thoughts came to my mind that I would like, if it is okay, to share with you? I'm going to take a leap of faith and hope that my little offering will be okay.

Instead of Facebook or a dating site, is there anything in your area where you could volunteer, even just one hour a week?

Volunteering has the potential to help on many levels and might be well worth the effort to at least initially force ourselves to go. After the first or second time there might be sufficient positive energies to where it will no longer feel forced. Instead it can evolve into something to look forward to, feel good about in the process and feel positive effects on the self-esteem.

Volunteering can help us escape from our own mind, even if just for a little while. We get to think beyond ourselves for a moment and get a breather from our mind, a little vacation. It also can bring us a bit of some fun, harmless bragging rights.

Years ago, I volunteered to help repaint a bar for a new owner. When we were done, I stood back, looked at all what we'd done, and felt pretty good for having been there and been a part of something positive and constructive. And, I get to sort of brag about it years later. ;)

Volunteering gives us a chance to interact with others live and in-person, something that can't be achieved online and actually the human animal needs live interaction on certain levels.

Volunteering could help us meet or lead us to meet like-minded people that maybe, just maybe, might blossom into a romantic connection.

Unlike virtual connections, with volunteering and in-person interactions, we might get a better sense of who the person "really" is, as they do of us as well.

In places like bars or clubs, in addition to the chemical influences, often people are heavily presenting images of themselves that they hope are attractive but however might be less than accurate representations of their true selves.

In hopefully more positive, constructive venues through volunteering, there is often more focus on the task at hand and less focus on the self-image presented (although the latter does certainly still happen at times regardless of any venue; some folks just do present false images of themselves no matter what they're doing, so these types are, I agree, tricky at best).

So, maybe, if it is at all possible, check into volunteering somewhere? If there's no organized volunteering program in your area, perhaps check the local Library, Hospital, Fire Department or even the Church. Sometimes these have Community Bulletin Boards where folks may ask for help or announce group activities which might catch your interest.

No matter what you choose to do, I pray for you all Bright Blessings of Light, Healing and Peace. 'An it harm none, Blessed Be....
Toni Aynia NightFish...

I too joined a dating site. My problem is that I get "Fantastic profile and I really liked what you wrote" but then they see how much I actually make then they are like, hmmmm he can support himself but what about taking me on trips, buying me nice stuff, etc. I don't care what most people say but I think at the end of the day most women want to feel secure and when someone only makes an avg income they are less then thrilled. I am not saying everyone is like that I am just saying for the majority of the women on dating sites seem to be the case...

im curious what sites you guys have used. one of the worst ones i ever saw was match.com. even when pple report a scammer, they are very slow to remove the profile. sites like plentyoffish.com at least are free for men. and from all ive read no worse than any others for scammers. be aware there are pple using fake pics, claim to be in the usa, but are often men from west africa. most arent very bright, but there are a few that are good at the con.

you are right about a good number of pple there having some agenda, in the case of women it might be trying to find some rich guy to use, in the case of men, it might be married guys lying about who and what they are to have a cyber affair or bed someone. there are still real pple there among the users and jerks. but its a challenge to find them thats for sure. certainly not everyone on sites like eharmony are raving beauties. i saw very few like that actually. there are some sites that focus more specifically on interests, or lifestyle. i tried green personals and found it to be one of the worst for pple full of themselves. i thought to myself, wow all these perfect pple with a good career, money, and so much and here they have no one either. at least that site gave me a laugh.

its all a bit of luck regardless if its a chance meeting in person at the gym or at a store you frequent or online. i think its best to look for pple with profiles that say alot of what you would write. someone with some depth to their profile. i had scammers say, oh i like animals too, bla bla bla, repeating back to me is all they were doing. it may seem a long shot but whats the harm scanning profiles as you pass the time during an evening. you might find someone youd really like to get to know. i agree alot of the women i saw online were wanting perfection while ignoring the fact they also were human and had flaws. and some had quite a brazen almost man hating type attitude as well. id rather be alone than even talk to a person like that. the words that made me click off their profile as fast as i could is when someone says, they dont want anyone with baggage. if youve lived awhile you are bound to have acquired some baggage along the way, they may being carrying a full load and not even be aware of it. write up a nice profile, but dont take it to seriously, just scan the profiles, think of it as the ebay of pple. but if you dont play you certainly wont win. best of luck