don't feel silly ,your not the only one. But what ive learned.. from experience is that everytime the same thing happens to me i push people away and avoid them just to be alone. i've pushed them to far that they dont even want to come back. ive lost people in my life from always having to protect myself and having my wall up too. If all we keep doing is pushing people away to be alone, there not going to come back which just makes us feel even more alone and isolated. Take it from someone who knows. I used to have lots of friends. I didnt have enough time for them all. And now the only friends i have are the online ones i meet in support groups like this. Just be strong. Have faith in yourself, and dont give up.

I totally identify with this feeling. I feel I intentionally isolate myself just to avoid what might happen even though I know nothing might happen. I also always see it as a defense mechanism and it's from things that have happened in the past. When it comes to forming relationships with others, I feel like I have nothing to bring to the table and that I'll not be accepted for who I am. I know I feel these things because I don't like myself. I sorta dislike everything I am and yet expect others to accept me for who I am. It is so hard living this way and I just wish things were different.

Growing up, I always dreamed of a happy, loving adulthood but I feel I have let down myself in so many decisions I have taken. You are not alone in feeling this way at all. It is my daily existence and I hate it.

i do.
i have had lots of painful things happen to me and i tend to isolate myself so i dont have to be hurt in any way.
i tend to take my time getting to know new people.
i dont go to movies and lunches and that with friends, mainly family.
since i left my ex i have being isolating myself alot.

I think it's a way of protecting ourselves from possible further hurt.

thank you for all your responses. i also wish that we wouldn't do this to ourselves. i feel bad for it also because i know my husband is effected by it too. the main thing right now is that i'm pregnant with our second child and even though i know that my good friend with her child of the same age is usually at these get-togethers, i still want to avoid going. i used to be a partier and liked to have fun in those environments but now that i can't it's changed a lot for me. i can stand being around it a lot more than the first time i was pregnant, but i'd still rather not. and it's not like my friend is a big partier either, with having a kid too and all, but i still won't go even to keep her company and it makes me feel really selfish. my husband can get drunk and mean at times, but he never does at these functions, so why wouldn't i go if i knew i was in the clear? i know my feelings toward it all are very valid, but at the same time just wish i could be "cooler" with the situation. i still feel like an outcast who can't "hang with the cool kids" kind of like when i was younger.

I'm usually very friendly and outgoing but my divorce has forced me to look at my life and where I want to go so I've isolated myself on purpose. Now, I'm at a point where I want to step out of my isolation and reclusiveness. I've always joined things but in the last few years -- not at all. I'm READY TO JOIN THE WORLD and make new friends and re-connect with the old friends who have not abandoned me after the divorce.